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Charles Schwab To Supply Covid Test Kits

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Financial executive, Charles Schwab, founder of the Charles Schwab Corporation, has offered to supply the country with 1 million covid-19 test kits.

“There is a severe shortage of swabs,” said Schwab. “I want to help stem the spread of this deadly disease so I am buying 1 million kits and making them available to all … especially to those areas hardest hit by the virus. I know it’s a small step but it’s the least I can do.”

Schwab’s generosity has been met with great gratitude. It has also given birth to the following tongue twister:

Charles Schwab’s swabs are a small step in stemming the spread of the sickness but Schwab’s swabs seriously, and surely, will save souls

Now see if you can say that three times fast!

Photo | businessinsider.com

Unable To Stop Bolton Book, Trump Threatens To Sue Anyone Who Buys It

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He’s at it again.

Now that a judge has ruled John Bolton can publish his tell-all book, the man who elevated the filing of frivolous lawsuits into an art form is threatening to sue anyone who has the nerve to buy a copy of the juicy memoir.

Donald Trump has never been a man to take rejection lightly. Whenever he has found himself up against a wall, he threatens to take legal action.

Yes, Trump might be forced to file millions of lawsuits but that won’t stop the “king of litigation.”

Writing in today’s Washington Post, Dana Milbank gives a great summary of all the people or entities Trump has sued or threatened to sue:

“Since 2015, Trump, his business or the Republican Party have sued or threatened to sue MSNBC, NBC, the Associated Press, the Daily Beast, Univision, an anti-Trump T-shirt maker, authors Michael Wolff and David Cay Johnston, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz (R), former Ohio governor John Kasich (R), a Jeb Bush supporter, a super PAC, the Republican Party, sanctuary cities, former aide Steve Bannon, former Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid, the U.S. Golf Association, a 92-year-old widow in Scotland, the women who alleged he sexually assaulted them, the co-author of his own memoir, the Club for Growth, the Culinary Workers Union, the National Hispanic Media Coalition, the organizer of a “Dump Trump” campaign, the city of Minneapolis, and an artist who painted a nude of him.”

“Before that, he sued or threatened to sue the Los Angeles Times, USA Today, a Chicago Tribune architecture critic, Bill Maher, the now-deceased rapper Mac Miller, the Village Voice, ABC and the BBC, a random Twitter user, a woman critical of Trump University, a critic of his golf courses, a Miss USA contestant, Rosie O’Donnell, the Obama Justice Department, and the Onion.”

Milbank, surprisingly, failed to mention the time Trump threatened to sue Mother Teresa.

For Trump, the underlying motive for his litigation threats is intimidation. Trump believes the mere mention of the word “lawsuit,” and all the costs it entails, will stop people with perfectly winnable cases from taking him on.

As Milbank ends his piece, “If you can’t beat ‘em, sue ‘em.”

Photo | skynews.com

Behind Closed Doors, Barr Reads Trump Four-Page Summary Of Bolton Book

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Donald Trump is furious.

It appears his efforts to stop John Bolton from publishing his tell-all book are a tad too little, too late. “The Room Where it Happened: A White House Memoir” is scheduled to be released next Tuesday, June 23rd, and explosive excerpts from the book have already been made available to the press. 

The New York Times and the Washington Post have both reviewed the book. The juicy memoir already tops Amazon’s bestseller list.

In an effort to allay his anger, Attorney General, William Barr, prepared a four-page summary of the nearly 500-page tome which he read to Trump in the privacy and security of the White House bunker.

As Donald Trump does not read books, Barr’s summary will be the closest he comes to knowing about the book’s contents. As such, Barr’s portrayal carries a lot of weight with the aliterate Trump.

White House sources have revealed that Barr’s summary appears to have appeased the infuriated Trump. They report Barr characterized Bolton’s book as just another “he said, she said piece of garbage” and that it “completely exonerates him.”  

Because the book is starting to alter even his bases’s perception of him, it is being reported that Trump might break form and actually listen to the book once it’s made available on audible.com.

Photo | foxnews.com