Now that Kim Davis has spent her first night in a Kentucky county jail for refusing to obey a court order, her three prior husbands, Bobby Joe Klinger, Billy Scruggs, Jr. and Lester Pyle have come to her defense.
“I just want to say we all support our ex-wife,” said Klinger, who is acting as the group’s spokesman. “We still love Kim. Yes, we were all hurt by her but, through the love of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we have found the strength to forgive her.” It seems Klinger needed the most strength, as Davis fathered twins by her third husband, Pyle, while still married to Bobby Joe.
“Kim has always been a strong woman,” Klinger went on to say. “Her belief in traditional marriage is so strong that she’s been through the holy sacrament four times. Now that shows true dedication and conviction in my book.”
“I know the Lord works in mysterious ways. If not for Kim divorcing us, we never would have ended up as good friends. Billy, Lester and me all bowl on the same team at Happy Valley Lanes. We like to share stories about being married to that amazing woman.”
Klinger announced the launch of a new website created by the trio, supportourex.com. “The purpose of the website is to raise money in support of our ex. While her lawyers are defending her free of charge, she still needs money for incidentals. Plus, as someone who has been in that county jail, I can tell you the food is downright nasty! We want to give Kim the change to order her favorite takeout.”
Her current husband, Orville Davis, is also supporting his wife in her principled stance on the sanctity of traditional marriage.” My wife is being persecuted for standing up for her religious beliefs. She’s prepared to be a martyr for as long as it takes… although I would like her home soon. The trailer is getting a little messy.”
Most of the Republican presidential candidates are defending Mrs. Davis.
The most forceful defense has come from Gov. Mike Huckabee. On Tuesday he said, “I spoke with Kim Davis this morning to offer my prayers and support. I let her know how proud I am of her for not abandoning her religious convictions and standing strong for religious liberty. She is showing more courage and humility than just about any federal office holder in Washington.”
The only two Republican candidates who believe Kim Davis should quit her job or follow the law are Sen. Lindsey Graham and Carly Fiorina. Some political observers have said the two have the luxury of being reasonable and sane, as they have no chance of ever securing the Republican presidential nomination.
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Editor’s note: This article is fictional. The fact is that, while Davis has indeed been married four times, she twice married the same husband… #2 is now #4. Got it?
No relationship. And some women can’t even find one good man! It’s unfair.
She is kinda sexy, don’t you think?
Must be the glasses.
She is being jailed for breaking civil laws, and her reasons for that don’t matter at all. Our “liberty” in religious matters is personal unto us, and not something we can foist, force, or manipulate the public with, as she has done. She has interfered with the “liberty” of others. And what a moron Huckabee is, although I am sure he knows he has nothing to lose. The comments from all the ex husbands – while staged- are a hoot.
She is being jailed for breaking civil laws, and her reasons for that don’t matter at all. Our “liberty” in religious matters is personal unto us, and not something we can foist, force, or manipulate the public with, as she has done. She has interfered with the “liberty” of others. And what a moron Huckabee is, although I am sure he knows he has nothing to lose. The comments from all the ex husbands – while staged- are a hoot. They are all waiting to cash in on the talk shows.
Yep, a veritable Martin Luther King, Jr. she is.
Yeah, they both wrote a letter from jail. If you are interested, here is Mrs. Davis’ eloquent statement:
“I have no doubt your opinion of mey has been swayed by the liberal media gotchas. I am here because ther(sp) is a war on Christians in America. This country was founded on the belifes(sp) of Christianity!! This is a fact.
I sit here with my Bible close to my heart, comuning(sp) with the Lord. I have a lot of time to think. I think of what Rose(sp) Parks must have felt. She had it easy let me tell you. The whole World is watching me. Under this microscope. I am now not only and example for my family, but for the millions of Christians in American facing persecution and the loss of their fundamental right of religious freedom. I know now that I have been chosen for the highest purpose.
Hopefully the press begins to forget her and she remains in jail indefinitely – and at her expense. Or, you know, she can do her job or resign.
She will do that only if God tells her. Right now he’s telling her to hold firm… the payday is just around the corner.