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Stormy Daniels Threatened With Physical Harm … Mob Style

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The Stormy Daniels story has taken a dangerous turn. According to her lawyer, Michael Avenetti, Daniels has started to receive threats of “physical harm” if she spills the beans about her affair with Donald Trump.

At a hastily gathered news conference, Avenetti played a threatening message left on Ms. Daniels’ answering machine.

“Hey, Stormy. Those are two nice knockers you have there. Would be a shame if something were to happen to them” said the caller.

Avenetti immediately contacted the FBI. According to a person familiar with the agency’s investigation, the call has already been successfully traced to its source… the White House!

Asked about this shocking turn of events, Trump called the whole thing” fake news.”

“I know nothing about this,” said Trump. “And who would threaten to harm those two gorgeous knockers.”

It looks as if Trump’s big mouth, and lack of forethought, might have gotten him in a world of trouble once again. According to the FBI source, no one revealed to Trump the actual contents of the recorded message!

A coincidence?

Photo | nydailynews.com

Donald Trump Is, Like, Really Really Smart!

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His alma mater must be so proud!

Donald Trump tweeted today: “Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.”

No doubt Trump’s “smartness” was shaped by the great college education he received at the University of Pennsylvania. In fact, Trump proudly tells people he graduated at the top of his class.

But with all the fine courses Donald Trump undoubtedly took at UPenn, English could not have been part of his curriculum.

When someone says they are “like” something, they are not actually that thing. They are merely imitating or mimicking that thing.

If Trump wanted to say he is a really smart person, he should have said, “I am a really smart person.” Throw in the modifier “like”, well, he’s actually saying he is not really a smart person.

But grammar aside, Donald Trump did go on to tweet he is a genius.

I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star…to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius….and a very stable genius at that!

Yes, we have a genius in the White House … even though he may not be the best grammarian.

This is so refreshing after eight years of that dullard Obama!

Photo | madmagazine.com

 

Trump’s Top 10 “Accomplishments” of 2017

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As we come to the end of 2017, it is time to pick Donald Trump’s top 10 “accomplishments” during his first year in office. While the list of his many presidential firsts is quite extensive, even bordering on the most unprecedented in American history, here are the ones that made the cut:

  1. U.S. no longer seen as the leader of the free world
  2. Has given aid and comfort to white supremacists, KKK, racists, etc.
  3. Further divided an already divided country
  4. Helped engineer the largest tax heist on behalf of billionaires in U.S. history
  5. Has green-lighted Russians to keep meddling in our elections
  6. Installed the most unqualified group of Cabinet secretaries … ever
  7. Pardoned a sheriff who refused to obey a federal court order
  8. Undermined institutions such as the FBI, the judiciary and the free press
  9. Endorsed and defended a sexual predator for U.S. Senate
  10. Scored lowest approval rating of any modern president his first year in office

The hearts of Trump supporters must be swelling with pride over such an impressive list of “accomplishments.” Yet with such an amazing slate of achievements in only his first year, what can we expect in year two?

I’d like to speculate but I’m too afraid to go there!

But take heart as we enter the New Year. Many betting sites are listing the possibility of Trump leaving office by the end of next year, either through impeachment or resignation, at 50-50.

Photo | dailymail.co.uk