Moron Majority.com

The New American Majority

Connect

Trump Hires Top D.C. Law Firm After Exodus of Current Legal Team

by Leave a Comment

With little more than one week before the start of his impeachment trial in the Senate, Donald Trump’s entire legal team has quit.

But, with the kind of swift action Trump has come to be known for, the Washington D.C. law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe has been hired to take up his defense.

It is believed the firm’s senior partner, Mr. Cheatem, will personally head Mr. Trump’s legal efforts.

When asked how he plans to defend the former, now twice-impeached president, Mr. Cheatem offered a very basic, elemental strategy.

“We are going to impress upon the Republican Senators who will control Mr. Trump’s fate, ‘If you wish to remain in office, you must not f**k us’.”

With such a brilliant, yet simple, legal strategy, is there any wonder why Dewey, Cheatem & Howe is D.C.’s premier law firm?

Photo | britannica.com

Trump Vows To Fight On … “Was It Over When The Germans Bombed Pearl Harbor?”

by 3 Comments

After having been rejected by nearly every court in the land, including what he thought was his “sure thing,” the Supreme Court, , Donald Trump has made it known he is not a quitter.

“It’s not over. We keep going,” Trump said in an interview with Fox News that aired today but was taped yesterday at the Army-Navy football game. “And we’re going to continue to go forward.”

Channeling the words of the indomitable John Blutarsky, Trump is reported to have said, “Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!”

The same sources report that while Trump is prepared to fully engage in battle, he has shunned the military option as it “could take years and cost millions of lives.”

“No,” Trump said, “this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture on our part… and I’m just the guy to do it.”

It is believed Trump will be making his final, and desperate, legal appeal to TV’s Judge Judy.

Photo | Danny Wild/USA Today Sports/thedailybeast.com

In Exchange For Pardon, Giuliani Offers Lifetime Of Legal Services

by 1 Comment

Now that Trump’s pardon power has kicked into high gear, many criminals are lining up to secure a get-out-of-jail-free card from the lame-duck president. But not all lawbreakers are wealthy enough to curry favor with Trump.

One prominent presidential associate, Rudy Giuliani, who faces potential criminal liability once Trump leaves office, is said to be seeking a pre-emptive pardon. While Mr. Giuliani has always been a high earner, he is said to be short on cash … three divorces can deplete anyone’s bank account!

It is being reported that Mr. Giuliani has offered Donald Trump a lifetime of legal services in exchange for a full and complete presidential pardon.

Mr. Giuliani’s services are not cheap. Sources have said he is raking in $20,000 a day representing the Trump campaign in the various lawsuits to overturn the 2020 election. Assuming an 8-hour work day, that comes to $2500 per hour!

The same sources say Trump just might go for the deal.

Photo | washingtonpost.com