It’s time for a reality check. While Donald Trump, so far, is dominating the polls and media coverage, it is way too early in the race to pronounce him a winner. Now that the election season is starting to get serious, expect some disquieting facts to surface about Mr. Trump. People in the know are saying once these facts come out, Trump’s chances of becoming President, let alone the Republican presidential nominee, are what Jay Z might label “slimmer than that chick in Calvin Klein pants.”
Here are the top 10 reasons why there will never be a President Trump:
- Secret sex tape with Justin Bieber made public
- That thing on is head is the pelt of an endangered species
- Al Sharpton was Trump’s best man at his first wedding
- He hooked up with Hillary while at Wharton
- He cheats at golf
- He fathered out of wedlock Mexican twins, Julian and Joaquin
- He fixed the 1970 Miss Universe pageant in favor of Miss Puerto Rico
- He is a closeted Deadhead
- He palled around with the Dalai Lama
- There just aren’t enough morons
Yes, I know, Trump has been called the “Teflon Donald” (see Trump’s Secret Weapon Revealed) by many savvy pundits; yes, there are some serious allegations about to be slung; and yes, his loyal followers will forgive and dismiss almost anything their savior says or does. But I can say with confidence, as someone who plays the game, even his most diehard supporters will never forgive him for cheating at golf!
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What about his wife is too hot to be First Lady? Well, as far as the prudish Evangelicals.
I agree. Check archives. I wrote an article on that.
Number one is the most troubling. We don’t know how accurate number ten is…
Ha!
I heard his favorite wedge is the “foot wedge!”
Oh, no… not another Republican wedge issue!
I go with #10, although #2 is a close second.
Have to agree.
If number 1 is true, he’ll get the gay vote. Everybody wants to have sex with Justin Bieber.
Ha!