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Trump Hints at VP Pick

September 6, 2015 by John DeProspo 4 Comments

240px-Clint_Eastwood_and_Chair

With the odds of Donald Trump becoming the Republican Party’s 2016 presidential standard-bearer growing by the day, speculation has centered on whom Trump might choose as his running mate. A top Trump adviser, who chooses to remain anonymous, has revealed Clint Eastwood as the consensus choice among the billionaire’s inner circle.

“Donald was so impressed by the speech Eastwood gave at the 2012 Republican National Convention. He rocked the room! That whole shtick with the chair was absolutely brilliant!” said the adviser.

Eastwood made an unannounced appearance at the 2012 convention, where Mitt Romney was nominated the Party’s presidential hopeful. His speech was mostly an improvised comedy routine where he addressed an empty chair representing President Obama. Eastwood implied that Obama (the chair) had uttered profanities directed both at Romney and himself, saying, “What do you want me to tell Romney? I can’t tell him to do that, he can’t do that to himself.”

While Eastwood’s performance was well received by the convention delegates, many critics thought the speech was “rambling and incoherent.”

Movie critic Roger Ebert, a big Eastwood fan, commented, “Clint, my hero, is coming across as sad and pathetic. He didn’t need to do this to himself. It’s unworthy of him”

When asked why an Eastwood pick makes sense, the adviser said, “Clint is a national hero. He’s tough, tells it like it is, just like Donald, and he has some political experience.” Clint Eastwood served as mayor of Carmel, a village in California of about 3500 residents.

When it was brought out that Eastwood’s tough guy image is just his acting persona; a role he plays, the adviser replied, “Look at Ronald Reagan. He basically played the role of president for eight years and today he is considered a saint. The public isn’t that sophisticated, and frankly, they don’t care. The perception is the reality.”

Judging by how Donald Trump, the TV celebrity, has enthralled all sectors of the Republican base, the adviser may be on to something.

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Comments

  1. Susan Davis says

    September 6, 2015 at 9:01 am

    But what about Mama Grizzly? I think she’d be a better pick.

  2. John DeProspo says

    September 6, 2015 at 9:29 am

    No, she is now angling for a cabinet post. With her verbal abilities and diplomatic skills, Sec’y of State sounds about right.

  3. The Nil Admirari says

    September 6, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    We demand Clint Eastwood be examined by psychiatrists to determine his competency, but will agree to his likely request to do the ink blot test.

  4. John DeProspo says

    September 6, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    He’s so senile he thought the chair was actually talking back to him!

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