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Archives for November 2017

Sex Scandal Hits The Vatican

November 29, 2017 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

At a time when women accusing powerful men of sexual misconduct has turned into a daily ritual, another dominant male has been ensnared in allegations of sexual impropriety going back decades.

Pope Francis has been accused of groping two nuns during his years as a seminary student at the Inmaculada Concepción Seminary, in Villa Devoto, Buenos Aires.

The nuns, who chose to remain anonymous, have told reporters that the Holy Father copped a feel while they were waiting in line to give their weekly confessions at the Catedral Metropolitana, Buenos Aires. The alleged incidents took place in the summer of 1955.

“From out of nowhere I felt a hand squeeze my buttocks” said one of the nuns. The second nun told the same story of a surprise, unwanted touching.

Vatican spokesman, Father Guido Sarducci, issued a statement that neither confirmed nor denied the accusations.

“The Pope does not recall any incidents of improper touching during his years at the seminary. The alleged groping goes back 62 years. One has to ask why the nuns would wait so long to accuse the Vicar of Christ.”

Catholics throughout the world are in shock, not knowing what to make of the allegations. Many are simply praying, “Please say it ain’t so, Papa.”

One powerful male facing sexual misconduct allegations of his own has come to the Pope’s defense … Donald Trump.

“This is ridiculous,” said Trump. “Why would the Pope grope a nun? They are generally very homely. I would say on average a four. Have you ever seen a hot nun except in the movies?”

Father Sarducci went on to say, “Pardon the pun, but the Pope does not make it a habit of forcing himself on nuns or any females for that matter.”

If the allegations are true, expect more nuns to come forward in the days ahead.

It is being rumored that the two nuns accusing the Pope of sexual misconduct have contacted Lisa Bloom, a lawyer famous for representing female victims of sexual harassment and assault.

Photo | courageouschristianfather.com

Caution – this could be fake news!

 

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, groping, Lisa Bloom, misconduct, nuns, Pope Francis, satire, sexual allegations, sexual impropriety

Donald Trump Doesn’t Tell Lies, But …

November 12, 2017 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

According to fact checkers at the Washington Post, Donald Trump tells 4.9 lies per day.

So, our 45th president tells almost five whoppers per day, a pace which would amount to more than 1,800 false statements over the span of a calendar year, or more than 7,000 over the course of a full four-year term.

And yet Donald Trump believes he is a very truthful person. He keeps reminding us that the only lies told to the American public are courtesy of the “fake news” media (all news outlets except Fox News, to be exact.)

In his 1987 book, The Art Of The Deal, Trump does admit he sometimes stretches the truth.

“The final key to the way I promote is bravado. I play to people’s fantasies. People may not always think big themselves, but they can still get very excited by those who do. That’s why a little hyperbole never hurts. People want to believe that something is the biggest and the greatest and the most spectacular. I call it truthful hyperbole. It’s an innocent form of exaggeration—and a very effective form of promotion.”

In other words Trump is not lying if he is just telling people what they want to hear. And boy how works!

I guess one way to describe Trump’s method of communicating, especially with his base, is that he only tells little “white” lies.

Remember some of these “exaggerations”?

“I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created.”

“I’m really really rich!”

“I’m the most militaristic person.”

“I will build a great wall . . . and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me.”

“Hillary Clinton was the worst secretary of state in the history of the United States.”

“I would use the greatest minds. I know the best negotiators.”

 “I would hit [ISIS] so hard your head would spin.”

“We’re going to have insurance for everybody… healthcare that is far less expensive and far better.” 

“I went to the Wharton School of Business. I’m, like, a really smart person.”

“We’re going to win so much, you’re going to be so sick and tired of winning.”

Photos | businessinsider.com, timeline.com

thedailynooze.com

 

Filed Under: politics Tagged With: Art of the Deal, Donald Trump, falsehoods, innocent exaggeration, lies, list of Trump lies, truthful hyperbole, whoppers

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