Moron Majority.com

The New American Majority

  • What The Hell Is This Site About!
  • The New American Majority
  • Blog
  • Archives
  • Great Links
  • Contact
  • Show Your Support
  • Email Sign Up
  • Disclaimer

Connect

  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Powered by Genesis

Archives for June 2019

Trump Warns Of Dire Consequences If He’s Not Re-Elected … Here’s The Complete List

June 16, 2019 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

As he gears up for his re-election campaign, Donald Trump has warned that the U.S. would experience an epic stock market crash if he were not returned to the White House.

While this unsettling prediction has gotten the bulk of media attention, there are also a few other catastrophes Trump has warned about if a Democrat were to win the presidency in 2020.

Here is a list of what might take place, according to Trump, if a Democrat wins the next presidential election:

  1. Ordering fast food will require a doctor’s note
  2. C-SPAN will be the only TV channel
  3. Bacon will be outlawed
  4. Men will be required to change “doody” diapers
  5. “Merry Christmas” will officially be replaced by “Happy Holidays”
  6. Daily flossing will be mandatory
  7. Americans will be forced to eat five fruits and vegetables per day
  8. Conservatives will be banned
  9. Voters will only be able to cast their ballot if they can correctly name the three branches of government
  10. The Earth will be invaded by space aliens

Some are calling Trump’s warnings irresponsible and outrageous.  Others are saying it’s just Trump being Trump. You know, fear-mongering to juice up his base.

OK, Trump may have gone a little overboard with some of his predictions. It’s highly unlikely we will be invaded by spacemen from Mars … but, really, would it be such a bad thing if everyone flossed each day?

Photo | qz.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, fear-mongering, list of ten consequences, satire, stock market crash, warnings

The Mystery Of Trump’s “New Do” Solved

June 3, 2019 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Donald Trump shocked onlookers when he made a surprise appearance this Sunday at a Virginia church. Gone was his trademark coif. Trump’s hair was slicked-back.

Many speculated it was a case of “hat hair” (Trump had just come off the golf course). Some thought it was a makeover ahead of Trump’s trip to the U.K. this week.

But those in the know say the father finally took the advice of the son. For years Don Jr. has urged his father to ditch the intricate “hairspray labyrinth” he’s been sporting in favor of a more “goodfellas” look.

Makers of men’s hair gel are rejoicing over Trump’s new image. ‘He’s a walking advertisement for the greaser, slick-back look,” said an industry spokesperson.

Photos | AP, wikipedia

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: "hat hair", do, Don Jr., Donald Trump, goodfellas, greaser, hair-do, new, slicked-back

Recent Posts

  • Defiant Group of Americans Vow To Disrupt Trump’s Birthday Parade
  • No… I Have Not Been Abducted And Sent To El Salvador
  • Satirists Declare National Emergency as Trump’s Cabinet Picks Outpace Their Wildest Spoofs
  • (no title)
  • We Did It!

Search this site

 

Loading Comments...