And Then There Were Only Thirteen – Graham Bows Out

To the dismay of his supporters, Sen. Lindsey Graham has quit the Republican presidential contest. In an unprecedented move, Graham sent personalized “thank you” letters to each backer, all eleven.

“I knew my candidacy was a long shot,” said Graham, “but I wanted to get the message out that unless we have boots on the ground in every country that hates our guts, we will never be safe.”

The third-term Republican senator who also served eight years in the House, is considered a national security hawk and a foreign policy expert. He is beloved in his home state of South Carolina, despite his occasionally moderate leanings.

But what may have sabotaged his candidacy more than anything else is his “bachelor” status and the persistent “gay” rumors. When asked who would be his first lady, his promise to have “a rotating first lady” drew giggles and jokes—including a quip by Sen. Mark Kirk that Graham was a “bro with no ho.” Graham did not help his cause when he said, in a somewhat melancholy manner, being single did not make him a “defective person.”

Gay rumors have long plagued the senator and other South Carolina politicians have even implied that Graham is closeted.

Apparently Graham’s attempts to make light of his never having had a wife did not play well with the American public. Even though we live in a more tolerant time, it is still the case that nobody looks presidential when they’re anxiously explaining why they’re single in their 50s.

John McCain, perhaps Graham’s best friend, tried to quell the gay rumors when he told a reporter that Graham indeed loved women. “I know for a fact he went to his senior prom at D.W. Daniel High School with a southern belle name Peggy Sue Jenkins.”

Research, however, showed Graham’s date in 1973 was his first and last … at least with a member of the opposite sex.

Photo | abcnews.go.com