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Trump Vows To Fight On … “Was It Over When The Germans Bombed Pearl Harbor?”

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After having been rejected by nearly every court in the land, including what he thought was his “sure thing,” the Supreme Court, , Donald Trump has made it known he is not a quitter.

“It’s not over. We keep going,” Trump said in an interview with Fox News that aired today but was taped yesterday at the Army-Navy football game. “And we’re going to continue to go forward.”

Channeling the words of the indomitable John Blutarsky, Trump is reported to have said, “Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!”

The same sources report that while Trump is prepared to fully engage in battle, he has shunned the military option as it “could take years and cost millions of lives.”

“No,” Trump said, “this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture on our part… and I’m just the guy to do it.”

It is believed Trump will be making his final, and desperate, legal appeal to TV’s Judge Judy.

Photo | Danny Wild/USA Today Sports/thedailybeast.com

In Exchange For Pardon, Giuliani Offers Lifetime Of Legal Services

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Now that Trump’s pardon power has kicked into high gear, many criminals are lining up to secure a get-out-of-jail-free card from the lame-duck president. But not all lawbreakers are wealthy enough to curry favor with Trump.

One prominent presidential associate, Rudy Giuliani, who faces potential criminal liability once Trump leaves office, is said to be seeking a pre-emptive pardon. While Mr. Giuliani has always been a high earner, he is said to be short on cash … three divorces can deplete anyone’s bank account!

It is being reported that Mr. Giuliani has offered Donald Trump a lifetime of legal services in exchange for a full and complete presidential pardon.

Mr. Giuliani’s services are not cheap. Sources have said he is raking in $20,000 a day representing the Trump campaign in the various lawsuits to overturn the 2020 election. Assuming an 8-hour work day, that comes to $2500 per hour!

The same sources say Trump just might go for the deal.

Photo | washingtonpost.com

Trump “Concession” Speech Leaked

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White House sources have revealed Trump is prepared to give his concession speech … soon. 

Below is the leaked copy:

Four years ago, we won a huge victory against Crooked Hillary, with the biggest electoral college win since Ronald Reagan. On my inauguration day, we witnessed something so beautiful … the largest presidential inauguration crowd in history.

And over the past four years we’ve gotten so much done … more than any other administration. So much winning! We won on the military, we won on taxes, we won on the economy, we won on unemployment, we won on trade deals, we won on deregulation, we won on religion, we won on the wall and we won against the China virus.

And now, after a rigged election, people say I should congratulate Sleepy Joe Biden and concede. But how do you concede when all the courts are saying the election was stolen from us through voter fraud? My attorney, Rudy Giuliani, a big baseball fan, keeps saying “it ain’t over ‘til it’s over.” That’s why we’re fighting so hard for democracy, the rule of law and our Constitution.

If you count only the legal votes, there is no doubt I won. Remember when the fake news media said Hillary got three million more votes than me? If you didn’t count the votes of all those illegal Mexican criminals and rapists in California, I got more votes. Now they say Sleepy Joe got six million more votes than me? More fraud, more fake news.

But even though this election was totally unfair, I have decided to leave the White House on January 20. 2021. 

I am hereby announcing my candidacy for president in 2024. I will continue to hold many, many big beautiful rallies.

Our new slogan will be “Make America Great Again … All Over Again” 

I am also using the vast powers given me by Article 2 of the Constitution to pardon myself, my friends and my family of any and all potential crimes, from the start of time to infinity.

So, to all patriotic Americans, stand back and stand by until I’m back in your House in four years.

Photo | politico.com