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Poll: Most Americans Weary Of Trump Scandals

May 13, 2017 by John DeProspo

In a recently released survey by the well-respected Faber Technical College (FTC), the vast majority of Americans say they have grown tired of the many Trump scandals.

According to the FTC poll, more than 85% of Americans say there are too many Trump scandals for their liking. Depending on how broadly the word “scandal” is defined, the number of Trump imbroglios range anywhere from 7 to 43 … after just a little more than three months in office.

When asked what is the appropriate or acceptable number of presidential scandals they would be comfortable with during a term, nearly 78% answered 2-3.

FTC‘s report contained some actual comments made by survey participants.

“I was just beginning to understand the Manafort and Flynn firings and them I’m hit with Sally Yates, Preet Bharara and James Comey!” said Joe Fusco, a seventh year senior at Faber Technical College. “ Wham, wham, wham! Just too much for me to process, dude.”

Sally Parker, lunch monitor at Grand Lakes University in Kalamazoo, Michigan, said, “I’m still having a hard time understanding the “Emoluments Clause” that Trump is supposedly violating. I believe that was scandal number 4. And now we’re up to 40 or something? Way too many and too fast.”

During the presidential campaign, Donald Trump promised Americans they would win so much they would be tired of winning. Ironically, it’s the many Trump scandals Americans are sick of.

“I don’t know,” said Paul Martinez, manager of the new Los Pollos Hermanos restaurant in downtown Los Angeles. ” At this rate, what will the total number of scandals be by the end of Mr. Trump’s term in 2020 … 700? 800? Don’t get me wrong, I like a scandal here and there but geez … so many?”

Despite the exhaustion most Americans feel over the sheer number of controversies, “Trump Scandal Fatigue,” as it is being called, has not hit the president’s most ardent boosters. According to the FTC poll, an amazing 92% of Trump supporters said they still backed their president and will vote for him again in 2020.

Unfortunately, for those loyal devotees, the odds of Trump running for reelection in 2020, or even making it to the end of his first term, are 50-50 according the Ugandan gambling site, YourOddsAre.com.

For the group of Americans who were not bothered or bored by Trump’s numerous scandals … a sizable 13%, their mantra seemed to be: “bring ‘em on!”

Caution – this article may be fake news!

Photo | Yuri Gripas / Reuters

Filed Under: satire

In Effort To Improve Image, Trump Introduces White House Dog

March 9, 2017 by John DeProspo

With the ever-deepening Russian scandal looming over him, Donald Trump, on Friday, introduced a new member to the White House … his dog. Some say this is a calculated move to deflect attention from the controversy surrounding his administration and to endear him to dog lovers everywhere.

“I’d like for you all to meet my new best friend, Boris,” said Trump. “He is a mix Black Russian Terrier and Mexican Chihuahua.”

The adorable pooch was an instant hit with the assembled White House press corps..

One journalist asked Trump if he named his dog after the late Russian president, Boris Yeltsin.

“No,” said Trump. “I named him after my favorite childhood cartoon character, Boris Badenov, from the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.”

If Trump’s aim was to distract the press from the political storm engulfing his presidency, he missed the mark.

“Sir, with all due respect, and with all that’s going on, should you be naming your dog after a fictional Russian spy?” asked an intrepid reporter.

“When are you people going to understand this whole Russian thing is a ruse perpetrated by Obama and the Democrat Party?” snapped Trump. “It’s a set-up to distract the American people from all the fabulous accomplishments of my administration.”

“Why aren’t you reporting about the illegal Obama wiretapping of my office at Trump Tower?” asked the new president.

Someone yelled out from the back of the room, ”Because it is not true. Only yesterday James Comey, your FBI director, asked the Justice Department to publicly reject your wiretapping allegation.”

Trump pretended not to hear the reporter’s answer. Instead, he took a biscuit out of his pocket and threw it up in the air. Boris, eyeing the treat, jumped to snatch it.

“Boris and I are going to be best friends and the American people are going to love him as much as me,” said the newly-minted dog lover. “They just have to get to know him.”

“I have to admit, I was never a dog person, but just look at that face!” exclaimed Trump as he prepared to leave with Boris for another weekend golf trip to Mar-a-Lago.

Photo | ohmldog.com

Caution – this could be fake news!

Filed Under: satire

Utah Rep. Chaffetz Won’t Look Into Flynn … Says More Important Fish To Fry

February 14, 2017 by John DeProspo

With the growing controversy, and confusion, surrounding Michael Flynn’s resignation as Trump’s national security advisor, many Americans were hoping this might merit a hearing within the House of Representatives.

People want to know if Gen. Flynn was asked to offer up his resignation because of his improper, maybe treasonous, contacts with Russia prior to Trump assuming office or was he asked to leave because he ‘inadvertently briefed the Vice President Elect and others with incomplete information regarding … phone calls with the Russian Ambassador.”

House Oversight Committee chairman, Utah Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R), is not too concerned about the growing political brouhaha. He believes investigating the Flynn matter, at this point, is unnecessary since it is “taking care of itself.”

Chaffetz did not, however, rule out a probe at a later date.

“Our schedule is pretty much set right now. We will begin our next hearing into Hillary Clinton and Benghazi early next week. Once that is done … we’re hoping by the end of the year … we will look into the Flynn matter, if it is still an issue.”

Caution: This could be fake news

Photo | washingtonpost.com

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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