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Ronny Jackson Backs Off Demand For Biden To Take Cognitive Test

June 18, 2021 by John DeProspo 1 Comment

After accusing Joe Biden of suffering from “mental impairment,” Donald Trump’s former personal doctor and current Texas congressman, Rep. Ronny Jackson, is no longer demanding the President take a test to measure his cognitive abilities. 

It appears Biden has agreed to the request if Jackson consents to a sobriety test.

Photo | businessinsider.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: cognitive test, Joe Biden, Ronny Jackson, satire, sobriety test

After Cheney Ouster, House Reps Propose New Oath Of Office

May 12, 2021 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

During colonial times, when the United States were colonies of Great Britain, officials swore allegiance to the king. Following the Revolution, the founders decided to require an oath for all federal and state officials … to the Constitution.

Since Liz Cheney’s ouster from her House leadership position due to her refusal to swear allegiance to the king of her party, a few House Republicans have proposed a new oath to be taken by all new members on the opening day of a new Congress.

A bill soon to be introduced by Texas Representative Louie Gohmert, co-sponsored by fellow Republicans Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz and Jim Jordan, contains the following oath:

“I, (name), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend Donald J. Trump against all political enemies, foreign or domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to same; that I take this obligation without any mental hesitancy or self-reflection, and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter as directed by Our Leader. So help me Trump.” 

As Republican House members are in the minority, it is unlikely such a bill will pass. But it is interesting to note how American conservatives have gone full circle in just under 250 years!

Photo | Forbes.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Constitution, Donald Trump, Liz Cheney, Louie Gohmert, new oath, oath of office, satire

Where’s Jared?

March 12, 2021 by John DeProspo 1 Comment

Since leaving his position, in January, as White House senior advisor, Jared Kushner seems to be missing in action.

During Donald Trump’s appearance at last month’s Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), Jared Kushner was noticeably absent from his side.

A source close to Kushner has said, “Right now, he’s just checked out of politics.”

And who could blame him!

While serving as his father-in-law’s right-hand man, Kushner was tasked with an inordinate level of responsibility. He was responsible for negotiating peace in the Middle East; he was responsible for solving America’s opioid crisis; he was responsible for diplomacy with Mexico; he was responsible for reforming care for veterans; he was responsible for reforming the criminal justice system; he was responsible for reinventing the entire government and making it work like a business; and he was responsible for leading a coronavirus task force!

Is it any wonder the man needs a break?

A close family friend has revealed the Boy Wonder, as some have called Kushner, is chilling out by spending time on his one true passion … creating art.

Much like George W. Bush after he left the White House, Kushner spends his days painting and drawing. But unlike Bush, who liked to paint portraits of important world leaders, Kushner passes the time mostly on drawings of his family.

Photo | npr.org/W. Roger Mills-Koonce

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, Jared Kushner, missing in action, politics, responsibility, satire

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