Moron Majority.com

The New American Majority

  • What The Hell Is This Site About!
  • The New American Majority
  • Blog
  • Archives
  • Great Links
  • Contact
  • Show Your Support
  • Email Sign Up
  • Disclaimer

Connect

  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Powered by Genesis

Tucker Carlson Leaves Fox For Higher Calling

April 24, 2023 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

After years of being a prominent figure in the conservative media world, Tucker Carlson has made the shocking announcement that he will be leaving Fox News to pursue a new calling: the ministry.

Sources close to Carlson suggest that he is deeply troubled by the role he played in spreading fear, lies, conspiracy theories and disinformation during his time on television. He believes that he has a responsibility to atone for his sins and to help undo the harm he’s caused. 

“He’s been struggling with this for a while,” said a source who spoke on condition of anonymity. “He’s been talking to pastors and other religious leaders, trying to find a way to make things right.”

According to those same sources, Carlson’s decision to leave Fox News was motivated by his fear of going to hell.

“He’s always been a deeply religious person,” the source said. “But he’s been feeling more and more guilty about what he’s done. He’s worried that he’s going to spend eternity paying for the division he’s caused in our country.”

While some may be skeptical of Carlson’s sudden conversion, those who know him best say that he is sincere in his desire to repent and make amends.

“He’s a man of conviction,” said one friend. “He’s always been passionate about what he believes, and now he’s applying that passion to his faith.”

As for Fox News, the network is reportedly in a state of shock over Carlson’s sudden departure. After all, “Tucker Carlson Tonight” was the highest-rated cable news show for years. Fox has already started conducting a nationwide search to find a new host who is willing to take on the responsibility of spreading hate and lies to the American public.

“Whoever replaces Tucker is going to have some big shoes to fill,” said one Fox executive. “We need someone who can lie with conviction and fear-monger with the best of them.”

A replacement, however, might not be so difficult for Fox News to find. There are plenty of unscrupulous “newsmen” out there who have no fear of eternal damnation and would gladly sell their souls for some mega bucks.

As for Friar Tucker, our thoughts and prayers are with you, man!

Filed Under: breaking news, satire Tagged With: Fox News, higher calling, part ways, resignation, satire, the ministry, Tucker Carlson

It Only Took 28 Years For The Moving Guy’s Prediction To Come True

June 24, 2022 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Filed Under: breaking news Tagged With: abortion, Elaine, moving guy, overturned, Roe v. Wade, Seinfeld, supreme court

Marianne Williamson Proves Why We All Need To Do Our Due Diligence

December 10, 2019 by John DeProspo 1 Comment

About one month ago, I wrote a satirical piece, “Trump Pardons Charles Manson.” I also reposted the article on Dailykos.com.

What was intended as a lighthearted jab at Trump’s expansive, and seemingly indiscriminate, use of his pardoning power has morphed into a major brouhaha and latest embarrassment for presidential candidate Marianne Williamson.

Not realizing the story was satire, Williamson tweeted: 

“There is something deeply sinister about Trump pardoning Charles Manson, even posthumously. Dog whistles of the very worst possible kind…”

Williamson later apologized for the mistake and said that she was “glad to have been wrong,” but then deleted both the original tweet and the apology.

If only the self-help guru had done a simple Google search she would have discovered the story was in jest. Scopes.com correctly labeled the article as “satire.”

Williamson should have read the disclaimer on moronmajority.com, which reads, “This site is devoted to satire. If you believe any of the stuff you read here, don’t look now, but you probably belong to the group this site is named for.”

Let this be a teachable moment for one and all. If a story sounds preposterous … totally batsh*t crazy … it is probably fake news or well done satire.

Then again, in the age of Trump, where windmills cause cancer, can we say anything is utterly ludicrous?

Photo | sarah silbiger/reuters

Filed Under: breaking news Tagged With: Charles Manson, Donald Trump, fake news, Marianne Williamson, moron majority, satire

Recent Posts

  • Breaking: Trump Declares U.S. Constitution Unconstitutional
  • Defiant Group of Americans Vow To Disrupt Trump’s Birthday Parade
  • No… I Have Not Been Abducted And Sent To El Salvador
  • Satirists Declare National Emergency as Trump’s Cabinet Picks Outpace Their Wildest Spoofs
  • (no title)

Search this site

 

Loading Comments...