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Dems Mocking Move To Shore Up Italian Vote

August 22, 2020 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Republicans are not the only ones intentionally mispronouncing the name of the Democratic VP candidate, Kamala Harris. It seems that Democrats themselves have gotten into the act.

In their outreach to Italian American voters, who lean heavily to Trump and the GOP, Democrats are calling Kamala … Carmela!

The effort appears to be paying off as many Italian Americans have a positive reaction to the very Italian name, Carmela.

“My mother’s name is Carmela, as was her mother’s and her mother’s mother,” said Vinny Scappaticci, owner of Vinny’s Humungo Pizzeria and Donut Shop in the swing state of Pennsylvania.

“How could I not vote for a Carmela?” asked Mr. Scappaticci.

But won’t those same Italian voters who are looking to support “Carmela” Harris get confused once they see her correct name on the ballot?

“No,” said a Biden/Harris campaign strategist who chose to remain anonymous. “They will think it’s a typo, most likely. In any event, our research has shown most Italian Americans are not the greatest spellers.”

Oh snap!

Photo | bigpieinthesky.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Carmela, Carmela Harris, Democrats, intentional, Kamala Harris, mispronunciation, satire

Growing Concern Over Melania GOP Convention Speech … Who Will She Endorse?

August 20, 2020 by John DeProspo 1 Comment

She never wanted any of it.

Melania Trump was perfectly happy living in her gilded tower high above New York’s Fifth Avenue. The woman who some have described as the most reluctant First Lady is scheduled to give a speech at next week’s Republican National Convention. It is being reported she will deliver her speech from the newly renovated White House Rose Garden.

Campaign officials are worried because, unlike in the past, Melania has decided to write her own speech. Alarmingly, she has refused to share it with anyone.

It is no great mystery that Melania Trump is not a happy camper. We see it in her dour face. We see it when she refuses to hold her husband’s hand in public. Does she simple loathe her husband or does she hate the whole business of politics? No one really knows.

Gossips are speculating the First Lady will file for divorce the first chance she gets after leaving the Peoples’ House. They remind us of how Melania initially refused to move to the White House after her husband’s inauguration so that son Barron “could finish school in New York.” It has been reported that Melania used her holdout as leverage for renegotiating her prenuptial agreement with Trump.

What concerns Trump’s campaign staff the most is that the First Lady might go rogue and do the unthinkable during her speech … announce she is endorsing Joe Biden!

“Enough is enough” might not just be a catch phrase for Democrats.

Photo | graziadaily.co.uk

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: campaign speech, endorse Biden, Melania Trump, Republican National Convention, satire

Charles Schwab To Supply Covid Test Kits

August 9, 2020 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Financial executive, Charles Schwab, founder of the Charles Schwab Corporation, has offered to supply the country with 1 million covid-19 test kits.

“There is a severe shortage of swabs,” said Schwab. “I want to help stem the spread of this deadly disease so I am buying 1 million kits and making them available to all … especially to those areas hardest hit by the virus. I know it’s a small step but it’s the least I can do.”

Schwab’s generosity has been met with great gratitude. It has also given birth to the following tongue twister:

Charles Schwab’s swabs are a small step in stemming the spread of the sickness but Schwab’s swabs seriously, and surely, will save souls

Now see if you can say that three times fast!

Photo | businessinsider.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Charles Schwab, covid-19, satire, testing kits, tongue twister

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