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Staring At Hard Times, Tucker Carlson May Be Forced To Sell Bow Tie Collection

June 14, 2020 by John DeProspo 2 Comments

Things have not been going well for Tucker Carlson lately. The star of Fox News’ Tucker Carlson Tonight is losing more advertisers by the day over his increasingly inflammatory rhetoric about Black Lives Matter protests.  Most recently, it was T-Mobile and Papa John’s Pizza that pulled the plug on his show.

The situation has gotten so bad that the Fox News celebrity is contemplating the unthinkable … selling his large collection of bow ties.

For many years, the bow tie had been Mr. Carlson’s signature look. He started wearing the cravat in 1984 when he was in tenth grade at St. George’s, a Rhode Island prep school. 

When he became co-host for CNN’S Crossfire in 2001, representing the political right, Mr. Carlson was seen nightly wearing his iconic neckwear.

Mr. Carlson eventually made his way to MSNBC in 2005, where the producers advertised his show by creating posters that read, “The Man. The Legend. The Bow Tie.”

But after moving over to Fox News in 2009, Mr. Carlson decided to ditch the bow tie in favor of the more traditional necktie. Many observers speculated that the preppy appearance engendered by wearing the bow tie made him look like one of those snooty elites he rails against each night on his show.

Mr. Carlson’s collection of 450 classic, many one-of-a-kind, bow ties has been estimated to be worth $1.5 million by Christies auction house.

Photo | daily-choices.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: advertisers, Black Lives Matter, bow ties, Fox News, loss of advertisers, satire, sell, Tucker Carlson, Tucker Carlson Tonight

Trump Demands Weather Service Retract Its Weekend Forecast

June 10, 2020 by John DeProspo 1 Comment

Donald Trump has asked the National Weather Service to retract its weekend forecast calling for rain as it would interfere with his golf plans.

“I hate playing in the rain,” said Trump. “I’ll admit it, I’m not a mudder.”

Trump has a long history of attacking any news source that gives him bad news. Earlier today, his campaign demanded CNN apologize for reporting on a poll that shows Biden beating him badly.

The National Weather Service (NWS) is the official weather bureau of the United States, founded on February 9, 1870.

Sources at the bureau have refused comment.

Photo | businessinsider.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: CNN poll, Donald Trump, golf, National Weather Service, rain, satire

Markets Rise Dramatically Following Trump’s Sudden Resignation

March 18, 2020 by John DeProspo 2 Comments

The Dow Industrial Average gained a staggering 9,000 points following the unexpected White House announcement Trump has resigned the presidency. Stocks recovered nearly all their recent losses since setting their all-time high of 29,551.42 on February 12, 2020.

In a tweet, Trump indicated he made the move because he felt it to be in the best interests of the country:

I hereby resign the Office of President of the United States. For the good of the country, the office will now be in the capable hands of President Mike Pence and his awesome pardoning powers.

This is indeed an ironic turn following Trump’s often repeated prediction the markets would “crash” if he were ever to be removed from office.

It was only six months ago Trump boasted in a tweet, “Do you think it was luck that got us to the best Stock Market and Economy in our history. It wasn’t.”

 My, oh my, how things can turn on a dime!

The soon-to-be-president Pence has yet to comment on the dramatic turn of events. It appears the announcement caught him, as it did all Americans, by surprise.

“I had no forewarning … really, I mean it,” said Pence.

Speculation is already rampant of what a Pence presidency, and Kushner vice presidency, will look like.

Photo | slopes.com/AP-Evan Vucci

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, markets, President Pence, resignation, rise, satire, stock market

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