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Trump Serves Up Some More Red Meat … This Time To Carnivorous College Athletes

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The man who is best-known for serving red meat to his base is today receiving flak for literally serving red meat to a bunch of college football players.

Yesterday Donald Trump, in the White House dining room, treated the Champion Clemson Tigers football team to a fast food extravaganza of burgers from America’s finest fast food establishments … McDonalds, Wendy’s and Burger King.

Critics have called Trump’s artery-clogging smorgasbord “tasteless”, but the young men seemed to enjoy their meal.

There is some dispute as to how much red meat was actually served. The number of burgers went from an original estimate of 300 to a staggering 1000! Another Trumpian whopper?

Trump tweeted today:

Great being with the National Champion Clemson Tigers last night at the White House. Because of the Shutdown I served them massive amounts of Fast Food (I paid), over 1000 hamburgers etc. Within one hour, it was all gone. Great guys and big eaters!

While White House staff told members of the press our junk-food-loving Commander in Chief was pleased with the festive and happy meal, he was disappointed about one thing …

NO LEFTOVERS!

Photo | AP/Susan Walsh

How Trump Gets His Wall With Zero Tax Dollars

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No. Mexico is not going to pay for Trump’s big, beautiful wall.

Corporate America will.

That’s right. A proposal is being discussed whereby corporate advertising will pay for the costs of building the wall along our southern border.

According to an anonymous source, the idea is to sell advertising space to companies wishing to promote their brands.

“Think of it,” said the source, “corporate logos on a wall that stretches 2000 miles!”

The benefit for companies is that they will be able to advertise their brands to the ever-growing influx of illegals who will no doubt be able to make it into our country by either going over, or under, the wall.

It is being reported the idea originated within the House Freedom Caucus. In true conservative fashion, yet another example of when the government cannot solve a problem, look for a corporate solution.

Already brands such as Cheez Whizand Charimtoilet tissue have expressed an interest in the project.

Photo | marketinghits.com

Late Night Hosts Thank Donald Trump For Another Year Of Great Ratings

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A bevy of TV comedians are thanking Donald Trump for their good fortune as the New Year is upon us. Stephen Colbert perhaps said it best, “With a guy like Trump in the White House, who needs comedy writers?  The jokes write themselves.”

Will Trump be there to supply material in 2019? For the sake of the country, let’s hope not!

Photo | eonline.com