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Trump Discusses “Abdication” With Putin

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In their historic and unprecedented one-on-one meeting today in Helsinki, Donald Trump discussed his exit strategy with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin.  News of the clandestine tête-à-tête was provided to the Associated Press by the sole interpreter at the event just hours before his mysterious disappearance.

Sergei Romanov, the interpreter, told the AP that is was Trump’s desire to seek asylum in Russia. Putin suggested a beautiful country estate in Siberia for Trump and his family. Romanov indicated it did not appear Trump knew the location or history of Siberia … an area primarily known for its long, harsh winters and its prison camps.

Asked for comment, both Trump and Putin denied they discussed Trump’s renunciation of his position as capo of the American government. Instead, the coordinated message is that the two men discussed Russian adoptions.

This is a developing story. More to come if, and when, Sergei Romanov is located.

Photo | politico.com

Is Dr. Ronny Jackson Really an MD?

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Now that Dr. Ronny Jackson’s bid to become the next Secretary of Veterans Affairs has suffered a major setback amid allegations of both personal and professional improprieties, some lawmakers are questioning whether Jackson is really a doctor.

A group of senators, both Republican and Democrat, has written a letter to Donald Trump advising him they will not consider Jackson’s nomination to head the VA until he produces his long form medical degree.

These same members of Congress became suspicious of the doctor’s educational background when he gave a glowing bill of health to Trump following his annual physical exam. The man, whose diet consists of junk food and little in the way of exercise, was said to be in “excellent” health by Jackson.

“Based on his cardiac assessment, hands down, there is no question he is in the excellent range,” Jackson told a group of reporters this past January.

For the record, Jackson claims to be a 1995 graduate of the University of Texas Medical Branch (UTMB).

Photo | westernjournal.com

 

Mexico Agrees To Pay For Wall If Trump Releases Tax Returns

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Mexico has agreed to pay for Trump’s much-promised “big, beautiful” border wall. But there is a catch … Trump must first release his tax returns.

The idea is the brainchild of former Mexican president, Vincente Fox.

In a press conference announcing the surprise move on the part of the Mexican government, Fox was asked about his previous statement that Mexico would never pay for a wall.

“That is not correct,” said Fox. “I said Mexico would never pay for the fucken wall.”

“Look,” continued Fox, “this is a win-win situation. If Trump releases his returns, it’s adios amigo. Who knows what he’s hiding? I’m betting he’s on Putin’s payroll and doesn’t pay taxes. Now, if he doesn’t accept our muy generous offer, we know he is full of sh*t and doesn’t really care about the wall.”

But what it Trump does accept Mexico’s offer and releases his returns, wouldn’t that be a great loss of pesos for our southern neighbor?

Fox was ready for the question.

“Yes, it would cost us a lot of money but wouldn’t it be worth it to get that jackass out of office? It would be our gift to the American people and the world. And, by the way, we could build the wall, a pequena wall, muy cheaper than that idiota.”

Donald Trump has not yet responded to Mexico’s offer. A White House spokesperson did say Trump would consider the request once the IRS completes its audit of his tax returns.

Photo | cnn.com