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Poll: Most Americans Weary Of Trump Scandals

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In a recently released survey by the well-respected Faber Technical College (FTC), the vast majority of Americans say they have grown tired of the many Trump scandals.

According to the FTC poll, more than 85% of Americans say there are too many Trump scandals for their liking. Depending on how broadly the word “scandal” is defined, the number of Trump imbroglios range anywhere from 7 to 43 … after just a little more than three months in office.

When asked what is the appropriate or acceptable number of presidential scandals they would be comfortable with during a term, nearly 78% answered 2-3.

FTC‘s report contained some actual comments made by survey participants.

“I was just beginning to understand the Manafort and Flynn firings and them I’m hit with Sally Yates, Preet Bharara and James Comey!” said Joe Fusco, a seventh year senior at Faber Technical College. “ Wham, wham, wham! Just too much for me to process, dude.”

Sally Parker, lunch monitor at Grand Lakes University in Kalamazoo, Michigan, said, “I’m still having a hard time understanding the “Emoluments Clause” that Trump is supposedly violating. I believe that was scandal number 4. And now we’re up to 40 or something? Way too many and too fast.”

During the presidential campaign, Donald Trump promised Americans they would win so much they would be tired of winning. Ironically, it’s the many Trump scandals Americans are sick of.

“I don’t know,” said Paul Martinez, manager of the new Los Pollos Hermanos restaurant in downtown Los Angeles. ” At this rate, what will the total number of scandals be by the end of Mr. Trump’s term in 2020 … 700? 800? Don’t get me wrong, I like a scandal here and there but geez … so many?”

Despite the exhaustion most Americans feel over the sheer number of controversies, “Trump Scandal Fatigue,” as it is being called, has not hit the president’s most ardent boosters. According to the FTC poll, an amazing 92% of Trump supporters said they still backed their president and will vote for him again in 2020.

Unfortunately, for those loyal devotees, the odds of Trump running for reelection in 2020, or even making it to the end of his first term, are 50-50 according the Ugandan gambling site, YourOddsAre.com.

For the group of Americans who were not bothered or bored by Trump’s numerous scandals … a sizable 13%, their mantra seemed to be: “bring ‘em on!”

Caution – this article may be fake news!

Photo | Yuri Gripas / Reuters

In Effort To Improve Image, Trump Introduces White House Dog

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With the ever-deepening Russian scandal looming over him, Donald Trump, on Friday, introduced a new member to the White House … his dog. Some say this is a calculated move to deflect attention from the controversy surrounding his administration and to endear him to dog lovers everywhere.

“I’d like for you all to meet my new best friend, Boris,” said Trump. “He is a mix Black Russian Terrier and Mexican Chihuahua.”

The adorable pooch was an instant hit with the assembled White House press corps..

One journalist asked Trump if he named his dog after the late Russian president, Boris Yeltsin.

“No,” said Trump. “I named him after my favorite childhood cartoon character, Boris Badenov, from the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.”

If Trump’s aim was to distract the press from the political storm engulfing his presidency, he missed the mark.

“Sir, with all due respect, and with all that’s going on, should you be naming your dog after a fictional Russian spy?” asked an intrepid reporter.

“When are you people going to understand this whole Russian thing is a ruse perpetrated by Obama and the Democrat Party?” snapped Trump. “It’s a set-up to distract the American people from all the fabulous accomplishments of my administration.”

“Why aren’t you reporting about the illegal Obama wiretapping of my office at Trump Tower?” asked the new president.

Someone yelled out from the back of the room, ”Because it is not true. Only yesterday James Comey, your FBI director, asked the Justice Department to publicly reject your wiretapping allegation.”

Trump pretended not to hear the reporter’s answer. Instead, he took a biscuit out of his pocket and threw it up in the air. Boris, eyeing the treat, jumped to snatch it.

“Boris and I are going to be best friends and the American people are going to love him as much as me,” said the newly-minted dog lover. “They just have to get to know him.”

“I have to admit, I was never a dog person, but just look at that face!” exclaimed Trump as he prepared to leave with Boris for another weekend golf trip to Mar-a-Lago.

Photo | ohmldog.com

Caution – this could be fake news!