Jeb Bush’s campaign, and super PAC, has so far spent nearly $50M on campaign ads. No other Republican presidential candidate even comes close. The fact is Jeb’s eye-popping spending exceeds the amount spent by all campaigns at this point in 2012 by $10 million.

And what has all that money gotten Jeb? A paltry 5% voter support in the polls.

It seems nothing has worked for the Bush campaign. Jeb has tried both positive ads and negative ads, each to no avail. In what many called an act of desperation, Jeb convinced his 90-year-old mother to do an ad for him. The ad backfired and was widely mocked when Mama Bush said in the commercial, “Of all the running, he seems to be the one who can solve the problems.”

And now we have learned from an anonymous Bush campaign source, Jeb is seeking the endorsement of none other than the Vicar of Christ, Pope Francis. Campaign staffers are referring to this attempted coup as their “Hail Mary” pass.

Said the campaign source, “No doubt this would be a game changer. It could resurrect his campaign. The Pope is beloved by all. How many people do you know have a 90% approval rating?”

While the odds are slim that the Holy Father would agree to endorse any American presidential candidate, let alone Jeb Bush, the campaign source said that the Bush camp has let the Vatican know that they are prepared to make a generous contribution to the Church’s “collection plate.”

This Thursday, the next Republican presidential debate will be held in Des Moines, Iowa, hosted by Fox News. It will be another make or break moment for Jeb, the establishment favorite.

If somehow Jeb is able to snag the Pontiff’s endorsement before the debate, look for the other candidates to cry foul and label the endorsement just another desperate stunt by a desperate candidate.

Seems as if Jeb can’t win for losing.

Photo | (AP/Sue Ogrocki)

 

Just one day after former Alaska governor, Sarah Palin, formally endorsed Donald Trump for president, Apple has announced a new app – “Palin Translate.”

“For way too long now, we have struggled to decipher the meaning of her words,” said Apple CEO, Tim Cook.” Many have described Gov. Palin’s statements as just a bunch of words strung together. Now, with our simple app, those ‘word salads’ are broken down into simple English. The user can get a clear and concise translation of what she is attempting to say.”

Cook gave as an example part of Palin’s endorsement speech yesterday in Ames, Iowa:

Palin: “We are fortunate to have a true leader like Donald Trump for president who, by the way, is not a namby pamby like those who would desecrate our flag and bring down our country to the level of a third world country I can’t envision ever becoming. He has my endorsement.”

Palin Translate: “ I endorse Donald Trump for president.”

I tried the “Palin Translate” app on a comment Palin made not too long ago about President Obama’s weakness on foreign policy.

Palin: “That we should have a president so weak on foreign policy our enemies are emboldened to seek havoc and mayhem on those who just want to live a life in freedom and enjoy all god’s gifts in the U. S. of A.”

Palin Translate: “Our president is weak on foreign policy.”

“We had such a big demand for this useful tool,” said Cook. “Our company had also been working on a similar app, “McCarthy Translate,” but had to scrap it when Kevin McCarthy did not go on to become House Speaker.

Leave it to one of the largest, and most innovative, companies in the world, Apple, to provide the consumer with practical tools for the 21^st century.

Photo | REUTERS/Carlos Barria

 

 

Many believe Rafael Edward Cruz (aka Ted Cruz) will never be president because he is ineligible to run for the office. They believe since Cruz was not born in the U.S., but Canada, he is disqualified from serving as Commander in Chief. While this is a legitimate concern, it does not make the list of top five reasons why the Cuban-Canadian, senor Cruz, will never see the inside of the White House other than as a guest.

Here are the Top Five reasons why Ted Cruz will never be president:

1. In high school, he was voted most likely to be a sleazy, sneaky, sweaty, unscrupulous douchebag adult.
2. As a once budding actor, he auditioned for the role of Grandpa Munster, sans make up, but was rejected as too scary.
3. His college roommate at Princeton slept, each night, clutching a large cross and wearing a clove of garlic around his neck.
4. His barber has confirmed the numbers 666 are visible on his scalp.
5. There just aren’t enough low-information, low-IQ, racist, xenophobic, Bible-hugging, gun-toting voters out there.

Yes, Cruz may become the Republican presidential nominee. Reason #5 only applies to a general election. There are more than enough misguided and misinformed Republican voters for Cruz to secure the GOP nomination.

Photo | bustle.com