Just one day after former Alaska governor, Sarah Palin, formally endorsed Donald Trump for president, Apple has announced a new app – “Palin Translate.”

“For way too long now, we have struggled to decipher the meaning of her words,” said Apple CEO, Tim Cook.” Many have described Gov. Palin’s statements as just a bunch of words strung together. Now, with our simple app, those ‘word salads’ are broken down into simple English. The user can get a clear and concise translation of what she is attempting to say.”

Cook gave as an example part of Palin’s endorsement speech yesterday in Ames, Iowa:

Palin: “We are fortunate to have a true leader like Donald Trump for president who, by the way, is not a namby pamby like those who would desecrate our flag and bring down our country to the level of a third world country I can’t envision ever becoming. He has my endorsement.”

Palin Translate: “ I endorse Donald Trump for president.”

I tried the “Palin Translate” app on a comment Palin made not too long ago about President Obama’s weakness on foreign policy.

Palin: “That we should have a president so weak on foreign policy our enemies are emboldened to seek havoc and mayhem on those who just want to live a life in freedom and enjoy all god’s gifts in the U. S. of A.”

Palin Translate: “Our president is weak on foreign policy.”

“We had such a big demand for this useful tool,” said Cook. “Our company had also been working on a similar app, “McCarthy Translate,” but had to scrap it when Kevin McCarthy did not go on to become House Speaker.

Leave it to one of the largest, and most innovative, companies in the world, Apple, to provide the consumer with practical tools for the 21^st century.

Photo | REUTERS/Carlos Barria

 

 

Many believe Rafael Edward Cruz (aka Ted Cruz) will never be president because he is ineligible to run for the office. They believe since Cruz was not born in the U.S., but Canada, he is disqualified from serving as Commander in Chief. While this is a legitimate concern, it does not make the list of top five reasons why the Cuban-Canadian, senor Cruz, will never see the inside of the White House other than as a guest.

Here are the Top Five reasons why Ted Cruz will never be president:

1. In high school, he was voted most likely to be a sleazy, sneaky, sweaty, unscrupulous douchebag adult.
2. As a once budding actor, he auditioned for the role of Grandpa Munster, sans make up, but was rejected as too scary.
3. His college roommate at Princeton slept, each night, clutching a large cross and wearing a clove of garlic around his neck.
4. His barber has confirmed the numbers 666 are visible on his scalp.
5. There just aren’t enough low-information, low-IQ, racist, xenophobic, Bible-hugging, gun-toting voters out there.

Yes, Cruz may become the Republican presidential nominee. Reason #5 only applies to a general election. There are more than enough misguided and misinformed Republican voters for Cruz to secure the GOP nomination.

Photo | bustle.com

 

Obama is at it again! First he took away your right to go without health insurance. Then it was talk of taking away your guns. Now he wants to take away your cancer!

At his final State of the Union address this week, Obama announced a “moonshot” to cure cancer.

“For the loved ones we’ve all lost, for the family we can still save, let’s make America the country that cures cancer once and for all,” said the lame-duck president. Vice-president Joe Biden, whose son Beau died of brain cancer last year, will lead the effort.

Proving once again that Republicans will reflexively oppose any Obama proposal, their criticism was swift and unrelenting.

Presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee, blamed the president for wanting to play god. “If someone is afflicted with cancer, it is God’s will. How dare the president think he can thwart the will of the Almighty!”

Businessman and Republican presidential frontrunner, Donald Trump, attacked Obama’s proposal as a jobs killer. “Do you know how many people rely on cancer for their livelihood? Oncologists, lab technicians, nurses, drug companies, just to name a few. They would be devastated. Republican’s just won’t stand for another Obama power grab.”

One might have thought Obama would have learned his lesson by now. Anything he proposes is verboten. The GOP will simply not agree with, or support, anything that might add to the Obama legacy of significant accomplishments.

“Treating cancer is a business,” said Ted Cruz, echoing Trump’s criticism. “We Republicans are, and will always be, job creators, not job destroyers like those socialist Democrats. We’re not going to let Obama destroy the cancer business like be did  healthcare with his disasterous Obamacare.”

Yes, President Obama should have expected the backlash. But this being the final year of his presidency, he is not concerned. Said the president,“I don’t give a …!”

It appears the only proposal Obama could make that might garner Republican support would be a pay raise for Congress.