On the heels of the recent controversy surrounding whether the Republican presidential frontrunner, Donald Trump, believes President Obama is an American, a group of concerned citizens has demanded that Mr. Trump submit to a DNA test to determine if he is indeed human. “We’re not really sure if Trump is a member of the human race,” said Christy Combs, leader of the group. “I mean, if this person, and I use the word loosely, could become our next president, we want to make sure he is not some space alien sent down to takeover the world.”
When asked what makes the group question Mr. Trump’s humanness, Combs replied, “We’re all very scared. He seems to have a strange power over people. We’ve been watching and listening to Trump on the campaign trail and none of us have heard anything human-like come out of his mouth; no inkling of humanity, if you know what I mean. In addition, we’ve conferred with some of the top scientists and naturalists about Trump’s hair and all have given the same answer, “never quite encountered hair like that in the natural world.”
The group is also concerned about Mr. Trump’s strange facial expressions and the unusual way his lips contort while speaking. All signs, say the group members, that Trump could be an extraterrestrial.
When reached for comment, the Trump camp shrugged off the group’s request as “total nonsense.” Said campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, “Donald Trump is 100% human. He was born in Queens, New York to human parents. If they want to see the birth certificate, we will gladly provide it.”
When told of the offer, Ms. Combs would have none of it, saying, “And how do we know the certificate is not fake? Answer me that? No, nothing short of a DNA test, analyzed by top doctors and scientists, will satisfy us.”
Bill Spreckels, a group member, is convinced Trump has a spaceship buried in one of his many properties. “Mar-A-Lago” would be the most obvious site. I propose we hire a construction crew to dig up the place,” said Spreckels.
Ed Swoboda, professional comedian and group member, observed,” If Trump is from outer space, he is not only an alien but an illegal one at that! Now that’s rich!”
Image courtesy of dan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I think a urine test would suffice.
You’re probably right.