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Top Five Reasons Why Trump Supporters Love Their Man

January 4, 2016 by John DeProspo 8 Comments

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The GOP establishment just doesn’t get it: why would anyone support a buffoon like Donald Trump? Here is a man with zero political experience; a man who boasts of being political incorrect; a man who, in the famous words of John McCain, might be labeled a “wacko bird.” Yet there he is, leading his Republican opponents in the polls … month after month.

In an effort to find out what Trump supporters like most about the man, MM interviewed a number of his devoted followers. Here are the top five reasons why voters are attracted to Trump:

  1. “He has no political experience. Zip. That is why I think he is perfect for the job,” said Jake Brenner, who recently was denied a fast food job because he did not meet the qualification of having a high school diploma.
  2. “He really understands the struggles of the common man,” said Abigail Scruggs of the billionaire when interviewed at her trailer home.
  3. “He’s a smart businessman, the kind of winner America desperately needs, “ said Jim Grey about the businessman who has declared corporate bankruptcy four times.
  4. “He says what’s on his mind and could care less about being politically correct,” said Dave Manning of the man whose statements about Muslims are about to get him banned from Great Britain.
  5. “He is a born leader who just wants to serve his country and make it great again,” said Greta Jones about the man who sought multiple deferments in order to avoid service in Viet Nam.

Yes, Trump’s supporters are a fiercely loyal bunch. There is nothing their hero can say or do to change their minds. Facts be damned! One could say Donald Trump is the new American Idol.

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Photo | businessinsider.com

 

Filed Under: satire

“Of Course Trump Will Be The Nominee!” Say Loyal Supporters

January 3, 2016 by John DeProspo 4 Comments

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Ahead of the next Republican presidential debate scheduled for January 14 in North Charleston, South Carolina, I had the opportunity to interview a few Donald Trump supporters. I was taken aback by their fierce loyalty to the TV celebrity/real estate billionaire. Here are some of their comments:

“The man is not a politician. I just love that! He speaks his mind and really cares about people like me,” said Abigail Scruggs at her home at the Green Valley trailer park. “ Trump’s good with money. He’s a successful businessman who climbed the ladder of success.”

I asked Ms. Scruggs how a billionaire who lives in luxury penthouses could possibly relate to someone living in a trailer home, on social security disability benefits? Her reply was quick. “He wasn’t always a billionaire! I heard he started at the bottom with only a small loan from his daddy. He’s an American success story! People like that don’t forget their roots.” Yes, Trump has admitted to a humble beginning with only a small loan from his father ($1 million.)

“I like that he wants to make ‘Merica great again by getting rid of all the immigrants,” said Jim Bob Mosley. “And unlike that Kenyan Obama, he doesn’t want to let those Muslim refugee terrorists into the country.” I asked Mosley if he believes Trump wants to deport all immigrants or just those here Illegally. “Who cares, they don’t belong here. Build the goddamn wall!”

“Trump’s a born leader. He’s a very smart man. He even said he would be the smartest president if elected,” offered Jenny Davis.” He will run rings around all those dumb world leaders, including Putin.” It was widely reported Putin recently called Trump an “absolute leader,” and praised him for his brilliant mind.

When asked if they would support Ted Cruz (or any other Republican) if Trump were not the Republican nominee, the response was unanimous. “Of course Trump will be the nominee! He’s winning in all the polls. How can he lose? Heck in our state his lead over Cruz is 20 points.” The most recent Fox poll does indeed have Trump leading Cruz by exactly 20 points.

It seems Trump’s loyal supporters can’t even envision the possibility of his not getting the nomination. Call it a case of unconditional love. (For Trump Supporters, It’s Unconditional Love)

Photo | plus.google.com

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Filed Under: satire

Mama Comes To The Aid Of Her Son Jeb

December 28, 2015 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

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Following Donald Trump’s latest taunt, Barbara Bush has come to the defense of her much-maligned son, Jeb. Trump, on Sunday’s Meet The Press, labeled Jeb “an embarrassment to the Bush family.”

“My son is a good and decent boy. The whole family loves him and is proud of all his accomplishments,” said Mama Bush. “I just thought we, as a country, didn’t need another Bush in the White House.”

Before declaring his run for the Republican presidential nomination, Barbara Bush famously gave Jeb her advice: Don’t. (What’s Wrong With Jeb?) But the offer ($$$$) from the GOP establishment was just too good to pass up. Jeb took the bait.

What the country has discovered over the past seven months is that while Jeb may be the smarter Bush (academically), George W. is by far the more talented Bush (politically). Jeb just doesn’t come across as the type of guy the average Republican voter would want to have a beer with. With Jeb, it would be more about some boring policy discussion.

What Republicans want from their 2016 nominee is the same thing that George and Jerry pitched to the executives at NBC … a show about “Nothing.” Political experience and policy chops just don’t cut it with the current crop of angry, fed-up GOP voters.

In the latest Iowa and New Hampshire polls, Jeb finds himself in fifth place and sixth place, respectively. The distance between Jeb and the front-runner Trump is almost as wide as the distance between Sarah Palin’s Alaska home and her view of Russia.

“Now that Jeb is in the race, my boy is in it to win it,” said a defiant Mama Bush. “We Bushes are firmly behind him. You know, we’re a very competitive bunch. We hate losing, especially to a  low life, degenerate, imbecile carnival barker like Trump!”

If only Jeb had made Mama his campaign manager!

Photo | thecontributor.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: satire

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