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In a shocking new MM survey, Donald Trump has come in a distant second in Republican voters’ choice for presidential nominee. The Trump camp immediately dismissed the new polling as an outlier. The most amazing part of this new MM poll is that Trump is losing to a hypothetical candidate!

When asked to choose among the 17 declared Republican candidates plus this new, non-existent candidate, Trump comes in with 27% of the vote to the imaginary candidate’s whooping 51%. Who is this Trump-buster Moron Majority added to the list of candidates? Voters were given the choice of selecting,  “Any Juan other than these Bozos.”

Here are the full results of the MM survey:

“Any Juan other than these Bozos”….51%

Donald Trump….27%

Ben Carson….13%

Carly Fiorina….3%

Jeb Bush….2%

Scot Walker….1%

Ted Cruz….1%

Marco Rubio….1%

John Kasich….1%

Chris Christie….0%

Lindsey Graham….0%

Rick Perry….0%

Rick Santorum….0%

Bobby Jindal….0%

Mike Huckabee….0%

George Pataki….0%

Jim Gilmore….0%

Rand Paul….0%

Surprisingly, the new poll revealed that all factions of the conservative Republican base would embrace the hypothetical candidate. Pundits are predicting the new poll may give Mitt Romney the encouragement needed to make a third try for the presidency.

Editor’s Note: It appears a significant typo was made in formulating the survey. Our apologies.

Image courtesy of vectorolie at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You have to hand it to old Dick. When it comes to admitting the Iraq War was one of the biggest blunders of all time, he’s as stubborn as a mule about wearing a suit and tie! To this day, he defends the Iraqi invasion as a “good idea”. Facts simply do not faze the man.

“I was a strong advocate of going into Iraq,” said Cheney during a PBS interview. “I think that was the right decision then, and I still believe that today.”

Cheney has that rare gift of shutting out reality and making the insane seem rational. He is still spinning one of the worst foreign policy debacles in American history into something worthwhile. Here is a list of other man-made disasters and how a wily Cheney would have spun them to make you think otherwise.

Sinking of the Titanic – “The goal of the maiden voyage was to create world-wide excitement and press coverage. I think they accomplished those goals.”

Hindenburg Disaster – “In theory, there is nothing wrong with filling an 800 foot-long balloon with hydrogen. If that guy in first class hadn’t ordered the flaming Baked Alaska, everything would have been fine!”

Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire – “I see nothing wrong with the owners locking the doors to the stairwells and exits. How else are you going to prevent workers from taking unauthorized breaks?”

Deep Water Horizon Oil Spill – “I’m an oil man and I can tell you there is nothing wrong with offshore drilling. Ocean water is liquid, so is oil. What’s the problem?”

Caitlyn Jenner – “ I don’t think he/she looks that bad!

Perhaps Paul Simon had Dick Chaney in mind when he penned this lyric from The Boxer: “The man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest… lie-la-lie …”

Photo | en.wikipedia.org

With the odds of Donald Trump becoming the Republican Party’s 2016 presidential standard-bearer growing by the day, speculation has centered on whom Trump might choose as his running mate. A top Trump adviser, who chooses to remain anonymous, has revealed Clint Eastwood as the consensus choice among the billionaire’s inner circle.

“Donald was so impressed by the speech Eastwood gave at the 2012 Republican National Convention. He rocked the room! That whole shtick with the chair was absolutely brilliant!” said the adviser.

Eastwood made an unannounced appearance at the 2012 convention, where Mitt Romney was nominated the Party’s presidential hopeful. His speech was mostly an improvised comedy routine where he addressed an empty chair representing President Obama. Eastwood implied that Obama (the chair) had uttered profanities directed both at Romney and himself, saying, “What do you want me to tell Romney? I can’t tell him to do that, he can’t do that to himself.”

While Eastwood’s performance was well received by the convention delegates, many critics thought the speech was “rambling and incoherent.”

Movie critic Roger Ebert, a big Eastwood fan, commented, “Clint, my hero, is coming across as sad and pathetic. He didn’t need to do this to himself. It’s unworthy of him”

When asked why an Eastwood pick makes sense, the adviser said, “Clint is a national hero. He’s tough, tells it like it is, just like Donald, and he has some political experience.” Clint Eastwood served as mayor of Carmel, a village in California of about 3500 residents.

When it was brought out that Eastwood’s tough guy image is just his acting persona; a role he plays, the adviser replied, “Look at Ronald Reagan. He basically played the role of president for eight years and today he is considered a saint. The public isn’t that sophisticated, and frankly, they don’t care. The perception is the reality.”

Judging by how Donald Trump, the TV celebrity, has enthralled all sectors of the Republican base, the adviser may be on to something.

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