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What If You Held A Hate Rally And Only A Few Nazis Show Up?

August 13, 2018 by John DeProspo 2 Comments

This year’s “Unite The Right” rally in D.C was a bust.

As reported in the Washington Post, “White supremacists held a rally in Washington on Sunday, and almost no one but their opponents and the police showed up.”

“Jason Kessler, one of the organizers of last year’s violent and deadly ‘Unite the Right’ rally in Charlottesville,” wrote the Post, “wanted to hold an anniversary demonstration there, but the city wouldn’t let him. So he brought his show to Washington, where he hoped 400 supporters would join him for a rally at Lafayette Square, across from the White House. Fewer than 40 turned out.”

In an exclusive interview with MM, Kessler blamed the piddling attendance on Donald Trump.

“Would it have hurt Trump to put out a tweet or two promoting our event?” asked Kessler. “The man tweets about everything, why not about our great rally?”

After last year’s violent rally in Charlottesville, Donald Trump gave aid and comfort to the white nationalists by saying “there is blame on both sides” for the deadly violence, equating the actions of white nationalist groups and those protesting them.

It was suggested to Kessler that maybe hate has lost its appeal, its panache. The peddler of animus was having none of it. “Hate is as American as apple pie. It will never go out of style. No, I blame this all on Trump.”

Donald Trump has yet to chime in on this year’s flop of a hate rally.

Photo | Joshua Roberts/Reuters

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Donald Trump, hate, Jason Kessler, nazis, rally, satire, supremacists, Unite the Right, Washington D.C., white nationalists

Donald Trump Claims He Hardly Knows Donald Trump Junior

August 2, 2018 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

In an effort to distance himself from the infamous Trump Tower meeting attended by Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort, Jared Kushner and a group of Russian operatives, Donald Trump claims he hardly knows his son.

“The last time I had a serious conversation with Junior was many, many years ago, believe me.  It could have been his wedding,” said the President. “As I’ve said many times, I knew nothing about the meeting, before or after. We just don’t talk about things.”

Though Trump’s claim sounds preposterous on its face, a recent Quinnipiacpoll found that 87% of Trump supporters believe he doesn’t know his own son.

“Just because they have the same name doesn’t mean they are close,” said Melvin Scruggs, president of Alabama’s Talladega County Republican Committee. “I mean the kid was just doing his own thing, you know, freelancing.”

“If the president was really close to Junior he would have brought him into the White House like Ivanka and Jared,” added Scruggs. “Trying to claim Junior doesn’t do anything without his father’s permission is just more fake news.”

Trump’s latest attempt to downplay his personal relationship with his son follows the same pattern he used to minimize his close association to indicted or convicted former campaign members, namely: Paul Manafort, campaign manager, George Papadopoulos, policy advisor, Rick Gates, campaign aide and Michael Flynn, campaign advisor and former National Security Advisor.

While Trump’s attempted disassociation from his own son is selling well in Trumpland, one very important member of the FBI’s probe into possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia isn’t buying the story … Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

Photo | politico.com

 

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: disassociation, Donald Trump, Donald Trump Junior, FBI probe, hardly knows him, Robert Mueller, Russia collusion, satire

Trump Discusses “Abdication” With Putin

July 16, 2018 by John DeProspo 1 Comment

In their historic and unprecedented one-on-one meeting today in Helsinki, Donald Trump discussed his exit strategy with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin.  News of the clandestine tête-à-tête was provided to the Associated Press by the sole interpreter at the event just hours before his mysterious disappearance.

Sergei Romanov, the interpreter, told the AP that is was Trump’s desire to seek asylum in Russia. Putin suggested a beautiful country estate in Siberia for Trump and his family. Romanov indicated it did not appear Trump knew the location or history of Siberia … an area primarily known for its long, harsh winters and its prison camps.

Asked for comment, both Trump and Putin denied they discussed Trump’s renunciation of his position as capo of the American government. Instead, the coordinated message is that the two men discussed Russian adoptions.

This is a developing story. More to come if, and when, Sergei Romanov is located.

Photo | politico.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: abdication, asylum, Donald Trump, Helsinki, meeting, one on one, satire, Siberia, tete-a-tete, Vladimir Putin

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