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How Trump Gets His Wall With Zero Tax Dollars

January 1, 2019 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

No. Mexico is not going to pay for Trump’s big, beautiful wall.

Corporate America will.

That’s right. A proposal is being discussed whereby corporate advertising will pay for the costs of building the wall along our southern border.

According to an anonymous source, the idea is to sell advertising space to companies wishing to promote their brands.

“Think of it,” said the source, “corporate logos on a wall that stretches 2000 miles!”

The benefit for companies is that they will be able to advertise their brands to the ever-growing influx of illegals who will no doubt be able to make it into our country by either going over, or under, the wall.

It is being reported the idea originated within the House Freedom Caucus. In true conservative fashion, yet another example of when the government cannot solve a problem, look for a corporate solution.

Already brands such as Cheez Whizand Charimtoilet tissue have expressed an interest in the project.

Photo | marketinghits.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: border, corporate America, Donald Trump, funding, government shutdown, Mexico, wall

Trump Miffed … Mueller Still Getting Paycheck

January 21, 2018 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Donald Trump finally got the government shutdown he wanted. But to his shock and dismay, this does not put the Mueller investigation on ice.

The Justice Department has confirmed that employees in Mueller’s office are exempt from the shutdown and can continue investigating any possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia. His office is not funded through the regular congressional appropriations process.

So, the probe Trump continues to call a “witch-hunt” and a “hoax” lives on even as other government functions come to an end.

“There is something very wrong with our government if I can shut it down and people still keep getting paid … they still go on with their work,” Trump told a group of reporters.

Anonymous White House sources have confirmed that Trump believed a government shutdown would end Mueller’s investigation without him having to fire the FBI special prosecutor.

“I am going to get to the bottom of this,” Trump added. “How is this possible? No doubt Crooked Hillary is involved with this.”

Perhaps someone on Trump’s staff might school him on how special counsel investigations are funded.

Trump would learn that special counsel investigations are funded by a separate “permanent indefinite appropriation” established by the Department of Justice Appropriation Act of 1988 to pay for “investigations and prosecutions by independent counsels.” In other words, Congress has already passed the appropriations bill that funds this probe, so no one’s salary is stuck in the Treasury—there is nothing preventing Mueller’s team from going to work and getting paid.

Shorting after hearing the bad news, Trump did what he does best … went golfing.

Photo | rantt.com

Satire Alert!!!

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: collusion, Donald Trump. Robert Mueller, FBI investigation, funding, investigation, satire, shutdown, special counsel, trump Russia

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