impeachment

Trump Hires Top D.C. Law Firm After Exodus of Current Legal Team

January 31, 2021 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

With little more than one week before the start of his impeachment trial in the Senate, Donald Trump’s entire legal team has quit.

But, with the kind of swift action Trump has come to be known for, the Washington D.C. law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe has been hired to take up his defense.

It is believed the firm’s senior partner, Mr. Cheatem, will personally head Mr. Trump’s legal efforts.

When asked how he plans to defend the former, now twice-impeached president, Mr. Cheatem offered a very basic, elemental strategy.

“We are going to impress upon the Republican Senators who will control Mr. Trump’s fate, ‘If you wish to remain in office, you must not f**k us’.”

With such a brilliant, yet simple, legal strategy, is there any wonder why Dewey, Cheatem & Howe is D.C.’s premier law firm?

Photo | britannica.com

Mitch McConnell Ditches John Roberts In Favor Of New Presiding Judge

January 19, 2020 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

In a last-minute move that surprised no one, Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, has relieved Chief Justice John Roberts of his role as presiding judge at the Trump impeachment trial in favor of Captain Kangaroo.

McConnell’s desperate maneuver has confirmed what many had feared … he has turned the solemn Congressional responsibility of conducting a fair impeachment trial into a Kangaroo court.

But in a totally unexpected turn that has stunned McConnell, Judge Kangaroo has stated that “a trial without witnesses or documents is a sham trial … a fake trial. My court will not countenance such a clear disregard of its legal and ethical obligations.”

So now, look for the Democrats to get their wish list of potential witnesses … John Bolton, Mick Mulvaney, Lev Parnas, Stormy Daniels, the two Michaels … Cohen and Moore and Chrissy Teigen.

Photo | cbs.com

As Senate Trial Nears, Trump Set To Call Three Character Witnesses

January 14, 2020 by John DeProspo 2 Comments

We learned today from Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, that Trump’s impeachment trial may start as early as next Tuesday.

Word has it Donald Trump’s legal team is scrambling to prepare his defense. At the suggestion of Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, three character witnesses will be called by Trump’s legal team to vouch for his good reputation and moral character: Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un and Recep Erdogan.

Putin, it is being reported, is prepared to say Trump is the model of honesty and probity. In the past, Putin has called Trump, “Greatest U.S.A. president.”

Trump’s love affair with the Korean leader, Kim Jong-un, is well documented. It is expected Kim will repeat his description of Trump as “a most wonderful, handsome and loving dear leader.”

Turkey president Erdogan is also a big fan of Donald Trump. He called Trump, “Allah’s gift to Turkey” after the impulsive commander-in-chief abandoned our allies, the Kurds, in Syria.

Yet some are already questioning the Giuliani-inspired tactic. They point out the three men are obviously beholden to Trump for various favors afforded them in the past. And, oh yes, they are all despots!

Nonetheless, the three strongmen are held in such high esteem by nearly all the Republican senators who will act as jurors at Trump’s impeachment trial that it seems well worth the effort, according to one of Trump’s most trusted advisors, son-in-law Jared Kushner.

Photo | salon.com