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After Debate Debacle, Biden Fires White House Physician

June 28, 2024 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

It didn’t take long. Following his feeble and weak debate performance, Joe Biden has ousted his personal White House physician.

“The performance-enhancing drugs didn’t work!” screamed an angry Biden.

Reached for comment, Dr. Kevin O’Connor took full responsibility for Biden’s unmedicated disaster. Instead of giving him an orange flavored THC gummy, he instead accidently gave Biden a Flintstones chewable vitamin.

There is now talk of offering the job of White House physician to Donald Trump’s former doctor, Ronny Jackson.

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: debate, Joe Biden, performance-enhancing drugs, satire

Ronny Jackson Backs Off Demand For Biden To Take Cognitive Test

June 18, 2021 by John DeProspo 1 Comment

After accusing Joe Biden of suffering from “mental impairment,” Donald Trump’s former personal doctor and current Texas congressman, Rep. Ronny Jackson, is no longer demanding the President take a test to measure his cognitive abilities. 

It appears Biden has agreed to the request if Jackson consents to a sobriety test.

Photo | businessinsider.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: cognitive test, Joe Biden, Ronny Jackson, satire, sobriety test

Joe, It’s Not Too Late … Agree To More Debates!

October 16, 2020 by John DeProspo 1 Comment

Conventional political wisdom has it that the frontrunner in an election wants fewer debates, while the underdog always wants more. So, this summer, when the Trump campaign floated the idea of more debates (over and above the three already agreed to), Biden did the predictable thing … he rejected the offer.

But, as we all know, there is nothing conventional when it comes to Donald Trump. 

As the first presidential debate showed, Trump is his own worst enemy. Many commentators described that first debate as “the worst ever,” thanks mainly to Trump’s obnoxious antics.

And now we’ve had a town hall where Trump, once again, did little to improve his standing among voters … thanks, in part, to the skillful moderating by Savannah Guthrie.

Another tidbit of political wisdom is that, while debates may draw viewers, they rarely change minds.

But with Trump, we may have that rare exception!

Many pundits agree that Trump was the clear loser in both “debates.” They believe he not only failed to improve his electoral chances, but he was so off-putting that he actually may have hurt his odds of winning reelection.

So, go ahead Joe, agree to more “debates” … as many as Trump wants! You’re free tomorrow night, right?

More of Trump’s objectionable shtick can only sway more undecided voters to your camp, Joe, and may even peel off some soft Republican support.

Just one caveat, Mr. Vice President. Any debates you agree to, insist that they are moderated by Savannah Guthrie!

Photo | abcnews.go.com

Filed Under: observations Tagged With: Donald Trump, Joe Biden, more debates, presidential debates, worst debate

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