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How Trump Gets His Wall With Zero Tax Dollars

January 1, 2019 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

No. Mexico is not going to pay for Trump’s big, beautiful wall.

Corporate America will.

That’s right. A proposal is being discussed whereby corporate advertising will pay for the costs of building the wall along our southern border.

According to an anonymous source, the idea is to sell advertising space to companies wishing to promote their brands.

“Think of it,” said the source, “corporate logos on a wall that stretches 2000 miles!”

The benefit for companies is that they will be able to advertise their brands to the ever-growing influx of illegals who will no doubt be able to make it into our country by either going over, or under, the wall.

It is being reported the idea originated within the House Freedom Caucus. In true conservative fashion, yet another example of when the government cannot solve a problem, look for a corporate solution.

Already brands such as Cheez Whizand Charimtoilet tissue have expressed an interest in the project.

Photo | marketinghits.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: border, corporate America, Donald Trump, funding, government shutdown, Mexico, wall

U.S. Offers Free Summer Camp To Migrant Children

June 19, 2018 by John DeProspo 1 Comment

Leave it to Fox News host Laura Ingraham to set the record straight. While some have called the federal detention centers, set up for brown children seeking refuge in the United States, “prisons” or “concentration camps,” Ingraham likened the facilities to “essentially summer camps.”

Is there any wonder why immigrant parents fleeing gang violence within there countries are rushing to our southern border to enroll their kids?

Photo | businessinsider.com

Filed Under: politics, Uncategorized Tagged With: border, Brownsville Texas, Casa Padre, concentration camps, Laura Ingraham, Mexico, migrant children, prisons, summer camps

Mexico Agrees To Pay For Wall If Trump Releases Tax Returns

April 6, 2018 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Mexico has agreed to pay for Trump’s much-promised “big, beautiful” border wall. But there is a catch … Trump must first release his tax returns.

The idea is the brainchild of former Mexican president, Vincente Fox.

In a press conference announcing the surprise move on the part of the Mexican government, Fox was asked about his previous statement that Mexico would never pay for a wall.

“That is not correct,” said Fox. “I said Mexico would never pay for the fucken wall.”

“Look,” continued Fox, “this is a win-win situation. If Trump releases his returns, it’s adios amigo. Who knows what he’s hiding? I’m betting he’s on Putin’s payroll and doesn’t pay taxes. Now, if he doesn’t accept our muy generous offer, we know he is full of sh*t and doesn’t really care about the wall.”

But what it Trump does accept Mexico’s offer and releases his returns, wouldn’t that be a great loss of pesos for our southern neighbor?

Fox was ready for the question.

“Yes, it would cost us a lot of money but wouldn’t it be worth it to get that jackass out of office? It would be our gift to the American people and the world. And, by the way, we could build the wall, a pequena wall, muy cheaper than that idiota.”

Donald Trump has not yet responded to Mexico’s offer. A White House spokesperson did say Trump would consider the request once the IRS completes its audit of his tax returns.

Photo | cnn.com

 

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: border wall, Donald Trump, Mexico, satire, tax returns, Vincente Fox

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