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Donald Trump Claims He Hardly Knows Donald Trump Junior

August 2, 2018 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

In an effort to distance himself from the infamous Trump Tower meeting attended by Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort, Jared Kushner and a group of Russian operatives, Donald Trump claims he hardly knows his son.

“The last time I had a serious conversation with Junior was many, many years ago, believe me.  It could have been his wedding,” said the President. “As I’ve said many times, I knew nothing about the meeting, before or after. We just don’t talk about things.”

Though Trump’s claim sounds preposterous on its face, a recent Quinnipiacpoll found that 87% of Trump supporters believe he doesn’t know his own son.

“Just because they have the same name doesn’t mean they are close,” said Melvin Scruggs, president of Alabama’s Talladega County Republican Committee. “I mean the kid was just doing his own thing, you know, freelancing.”

“If the president was really close to Junior he would have brought him into the White House like Ivanka and Jared,” added Scruggs. “Trying to claim Junior doesn’t do anything without his father’s permission is just more fake news.”

Trump’s latest attempt to downplay his personal relationship with his son follows the same pattern he used to minimize his close association to indicted or convicted former campaign members, namely: Paul Manafort, campaign manager, George Papadopoulos, policy advisor, Rick Gates, campaign aide and Michael Flynn, campaign advisor and former National Security Advisor.

While Trump’s attempted disassociation from his own son is selling well in Trumpland, one very important member of the FBI’s probe into possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia isn’t buying the story … Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

Photo | politico.com

 

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: disassociation, Donald Trump, Donald Trump Junior, FBI probe, hardly knows him, Robert Mueller, Russia collusion, satire

Trump Discusses “Abdication” With Putin

July 16, 2018 by John DeProspo 1 Comment

In their historic and unprecedented one-on-one meeting today in Helsinki, Donald Trump discussed his exit strategy with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin.  News of the clandestine tête-à-tête was provided to the Associated Press by the sole interpreter at the event just hours before his mysterious disappearance.

Sergei Romanov, the interpreter, told the AP that is was Trump’s desire to seek asylum in Russia. Putin suggested a beautiful country estate in Siberia for Trump and his family. Romanov indicated it did not appear Trump knew the location or history of Siberia … an area primarily known for its long, harsh winters and its prison camps.

Asked for comment, both Trump and Putin denied they discussed Trump’s renunciation of his position as capo of the American government. Instead, the coordinated message is that the two men discussed Russian adoptions.

This is a developing story. More to come if, and when, Sergei Romanov is located.

Photo | politico.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: abdication, asylum, Donald Trump, Helsinki, meeting, one on one, satire, Siberia, tete-a-tete, Vladimir Putin

Is Dr. Ronny Jackson Really an MD?

April 24, 2018 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

Now that Dr. Ronny Jackson’s bid to become the next Secretary of Veterans Affairs has suffered a major setback amid allegations of both personal and professional improprieties, some lawmakers are questioning whether Jackson is really a doctor.

A group of senators, both Republican and Democrat, has written a letter to Donald Trump advising him they will not consider Jackson’s nomination to head the VA until he produces his long form medical degree.

These same members of Congress became suspicious of the doctor’s educational background when he gave a glowing bill of health to Trump following his annual physical exam. The man, whose diet consists of junk food and little in the way of exercise, was said to be in “excellent” health by Jackson.

“Based on his cardiac assessment, hands down, there is no question he is in the excellent range,” Jackson told a group of reporters this past January.

For the record, Jackson claims to be a 1995 graduate of the University of Texas Medical Branch (UTMB).

Photo | westernjournal.com

 

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Congress, Donald Trump, Dr. Ronny Jackson, fake, MD, medical degree, nomination, satire, Secretary of Veteran's Affairs, VA

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