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Cyber Ninjas Hires Bill Barr To Summarize Arizona Audit Report

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In an effort to stem the confusion surrounding the release of its Arizona audit report, Cyber Ninjas has hired former Trump Attorney General, William Barr, to distill the essential findings.

At a news conference this morning, Barr said, “While the audit showed Biden receiving more votes than Trump, that doesn’t necessarily mean Biden won the contest. Some are actually claiming the report ‘conclusively shows there were enough fraudulent votes, mystery votes, and fake votes to change the outcome of the election 4 or 5 times over’.” 

Arizona Republicans are not happy with the work of Cyber Ninjas and are said to be contemplating another audit of the Maricopa County election results to be conducted by the little-known firm, Sumo Warriors.

Photo | people.com

Giuliani Prepares For New Role As MyPillow Pitchman

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Now that his New York law license has been suspended, and facing likely disbarment, Rudy Giuliani can rest easy at night … the “My Pillow Guy,” Mike Lindell, has rescued him from impending financial ruin. Rudy Giuliani will be the new mug in MyPillow commercials.

The former top federal prosecutor and twice-elected New York mayor will be hawking Lindell’s wares on late night cable shows and right-wing media outlets.

“Rudy is a perfect fit for our pillows,” said Lindell. “He has a high approval rating with our typical buyers, people over the age of 75 and the mentally impaired.”

Looking to tap into Giuliani’s recent notoriety, Lindell will be offering a new pillow cover resistant to hair dye.

Some are saying the two staunch Trump supporters were meant to do business together. Giuliani, a Roman Catholic, however, has told Lindell he refuses to wear a giant crucifix around his neck, a Lindell trademark.

Photo | cnn.com