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Walker Or Warnock …  A Difficult Choice For Georgia

November 27, 2022 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

With two eminently qualified candidates, it is easy to see why, with just a few days before Georgia’s runoff election, the U.S. Senate race between Herschel Walker and Raphael Warnock is considered a toss-up.

Raphael Warnock, the current U.S. senator from Georgia, is fighting to keep his seat against one of the state’s greatest sports heroes, Herschel Walker.

The Democratic candidate, Warnock, was elected to the Senate on January 5, 2021 by winning in another runoff race against Republican candidate, Kelly Loeffler. In his two years serving as Georgas’s senator, Warnock has distinguished himself as an articulate, effect lawmaker. He is not only a pastor, but the pastoral heir of Martin Luther King Jr. at Atlanta’s Ebenezer Baptist Church. He has made his life’s work fighting against systematic racism. Warnock is a strong champion of LGBTQ+ rights, voting rights and reproductive rights.

On the other hand, Republican candidate, Herschel Walker, starred as a running back at the University of Georgia, winning the Heisman Trophy in his junior year. He went on to a successful professional career playing in both the USFL and the NFL. While he is not as articulate as Warnock, with most of his speeches turning into incomprehensible word salads, Georgians love him nonetheless. Did you know as a junior at the University of Georgia, Walker rushed for 1,752 yards and 16 touchdowns while leading the Bulldogs to an 11-0 regular season record and a national matchup against Penn State in the Sugar Bowl?

Even though some are questioning his lack of political experience, Walker is following in the footsteps of his biggest backer, Donald Trump, who also lacked any political experience when he successfully ran for the presidency in 2016. As many Republican voters will quickly point out, and as they say Trump proved, political experience is so overrated!

To use a football term, the Senate runoff race in Georgia, on December 6, has come down to a “coin flip.” Who is best positioned to represent the great state of Georgia in the United States Senate … a civil rights hero or a sports hero? Tough one, Georgia!

Photo | Bill Barrow/Associated Press

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Georgia runoff, Herschel Walker, Raphael Warnock, satire, toss up, tough choice

They’re All Turning On Him

November 10, 2022 by John DeProspo 2 Comments

Photo | Sergei Chirikov/Associated Press

Filed Under: politics Tagged With: Donald Trump, red wave, satire, Vlad, Vladimir Putin

Cyber Ninjas Hires Bill Barr To Summarize Arizona Audit Report

September 25, 2021 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

In an effort to stem the confusion surrounding the release of its Arizona audit report, Cyber Ninjas has hired former Trump Attorney General, William Barr, to distill the essential findings.

At a news conference this morning, Barr said, “While the audit showed Biden receiving more votes than Trump, that doesn’t necessarily mean Biden won the contest. Some are actually claiming the report ‘conclusively shows there were enough fraudulent votes, mystery votes, and fake votes to change the outcome of the election 4 or 5 times over’.” 

Arizona Republicans are not happy with the work of Cyber Ninjas and are said to be contemplating another audit of the Maricopa County election results to be conducted by the little-known firm, Sumo Warriors.

Photo | people.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Arizona, audit report, Bill Barr, cyber ninjas, Donald Trump, elections, Maricopa County, satire, William Barr

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