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No… I Have Not Been Abducted And Sent To El Salvador

April 18, 2025 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

To those few intrepid readers of this blog: first, thank you. And second, my sincerest apologies for the radio silence these past few months.

No, I haven’t been deported by the Trump goon squad. I haven’t been cancelled (yet). And no, I’m not holed up in a cabin somewhere writing a manifesto – though, let’s be honest, that might be where we’re all headed if things keep going this way.

The truth is simpler, and sadder: satire, thanks to Trump and his band of misfits, has become indistinguishable from reality.

I used to take pride in crafting absurd scenarios, farcical headlines, and wild hypotheticals to mock the political chaos of the day. But somewhere along the way, reality outpaced parody.

I wrote satire to shine a light on the ridiculous. Now, the ridiculous is the light source.

Take this headline: “Trump Declares Moon 51st State, Names Himself Lunar Emperor.” Not that long ago, that would’ve been a joke. Today? I’m not entirely convinced it wouldn’t appear on Truth Social – with 40,000 likes and a Mar-a-Lago fundraiser to follow. Fox News would run a special: “Is the Moon Too Woke for Statehood?”

That’s the problem. Real headlines sound like rejected Onion drafts.

For me, it really boils down to this … I find nothing happening today remotely funny. It’s hard joking about the erosion of our democracy and seeing the rise of an authoritarian state ruled by a moron. This is serious stuff; these are serious times. As much as I admire the Andy Borowitzes of the world who keep soldiering on, I personally needed to step back.

I haven’t given up, though. Not on satire, and definitely not on America. I’m just taking a break and praying for our great country to get back on its feet after this self-induced coma we find ourselves in.

In the meantime, thank you for your patience, your faith, and your refusal to go numb.

As someone I admire very much likes to say, “Watch this space.”

Sincerely,

Your Editor-In-Grief

photo/Etsy.com

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: absence, democracy, moron majority, satire, taking a break, trump, United States

After Bombshell Bolton Book Leak, Publisher Wants Full Return Of Advance

January 26, 2020 by John DeProspo Leave a Comment

According to an unpublished manuscript of John Bolton’s upcoming book obtained by the New York Times, the former National Security Advisor claims Donald Trump directly told him he would withhold military aid to Ukraine until Ukrainian President Zelensky agreed to deliver politically motivated investigations into the Bidens.

This may be good news for Democrats seeking to compel Bolton’s testimony in Trump’s impeachment trial but it is very bad news for Bolton.

It has been reported that Bolton’s multi-million dollar book deal with Simon & Schuster carried a whopping $2 million advance. The publisher now wants the money returned.

A spokesperson for Simon & Schuster says the value of the book was based on Bolton’s explanation of the “drug deal” he purportedly told Fiona Hill about, of which he wanted no part. Many assumed the comment related to the scheme Gordon Sondland and Mick Mulvaney were cooking up to pressure Zelensky into announcing investigations into the Bidens, Burisma. 

“The cat’s out of the bag,” said the spokesperson. “Who would want to read the book now?”

A close friend of the former Trump advisor has revealed Bolton doesn’t have the money, having spent it all on a high-tech security system for his Bethesda, Maryland home and on 24-hour bodyguards.

Photo | france24.com/abcnews.go.com

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Bidens, bombshell, book, Burma, John Bolton, leak, New York Times, satire, trump, unpublished manuscript

Trump To Return Statue Of Liberty To France

September 6, 2017 by John DeProspo 2 Comments

Donald Trump is deporting Lady Liberty.

By way of a controversial executive order signed yesterday, Trump is packing up the iconic symbol of American freedom and shipping her off to her country of birth.

“Since 1886, she has been standing in New York Harbor welcoming the tired, the poor and huddled masses,” said Trump. “No more. What she really has welcomed to our shores are criminals, drug dealers and rapists. And some good people, I’m sure.”

“We just can’t afford to have all those foreigners continue to take our good American jobs. And we can’t afford giving them free stuff like food, clothing and shelter, either. Did you know she actually asks other countries to send us their homeless?” Trump pointed out.

Trump has a few ideas for the pedestal that wll remain on Liberty Island.

“I think we should honor a true patriot with a statute. Robert E. Lee, a great man and fabulous general comes to mind,” offered Trump. “Or we could honor one of the greatest American presidents and my favorite, Andrew Jackson. And, by the way, there is no way a radical like Harriet Tubman is going to replace Old Hickory on the twenty-dollar bill. Not while I’m president.”

When informed of the news, French president, Emmanuel Macron, was saddened his country’s gift to America, commemorating the alliance of France and the United States during the American Revolution, was being returned.

“This truly is a dark day for liberty, democracy and for all the peoples of the world that look to America as a beacon of hope,” said Macron. ”But we will re-gift it to a country that still believes in the ideals Lady Liberty stands for … our great friend Canada.”

Mass protests have already broken out in major cities throughout the United States. Americans are up in arms over the removal of the beloved statue.

“Yes, there are some Americans who want to keep Lady Liberty, whose real name is La Liberté éclairant le monde, by the way,” said Trump. “But there are also many people who want her to go. I think many more people.”

An online petition has been started for Congress to pass a law protecting the Statue of Liberty and overriding Trump’s executive order.

Will Congress act in time?

Photo | modernliberals.com

 

 

 

Filed Under: satire Tagged With: deport, Donald Trump, Lady Liberty, remove, Statue of Liberty, trump

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