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Trump Turns To Religion To Get Through Troubled Times

October 15, 2019 by John DeProspo 1 Comment

The man who was been described as the least religious person ever to occupy the White House is turning to God for solace during the most difficult stretch of his presidency.

Yes, this is the same man who spoke of “Two Corinthians.” He is the same person who, when asked if he’s ever asked God for forgivingness, answered, “I don’t think so.” He is the same individual who could not name one verse from his favorite book, the Bible.

Many are cynically claiming Trump’s turn to religion is just a ploy to shore up his evangelical base. But some White House aides are saying Trump has truly found faith. One aide has actually verified she heard Trump declare, “Jesus is my personal Lord and Savior.”

To prove Trump’s transformation is real, the aide said Trump recenlty contacted Cardinal Timothy Dolan, Archbishop at New York’s St. Patrick’s Cathedral, to schedule a confession (Yes, confession is a sacrament open to non-Catholics).

The Archbishop has confirmed he has blocked off next week to accommodate Trump’s confessional.

Photo | AP Photo/ Evan Vucci

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Filed Under: satire Tagged With: Cardinal Timothy Dolan, confession, Donald Trump, faith, found faith, least religious, religion

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Comments

  1. b.f. says

    December 10, 2019 at 3:40 pm

    I’m not Catholic.
    Could someone fill me in on the ramifications of lying during one’s “confession”?

    At the very least, the church needs to have a bunch of heavy duty lightening rods installed before allowing Presidunce Lackwit’s “confession” to be done.

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