A group of loyal Donald Trump supporters, otherwise known as “sheeple*,” recently penned a manifesto outlining why they are supporting the real estate mogul turned reality TV personality turned major political star.
Here is the document:
WE THE PEOPLE of the United States in order to make this country great again hereby pledge our unwavering support for Donald J. Trump for president of the United States. The reasons for our strong support are as follow:
- He is not a politician. Because he has not been corrupted by political experience, he is the one who can lead our nation at this difficult time in its history.
- He is not beholden to Big Money. Because he has his own money, and is a billionaire, he cannot be bought. He doesn’t need any more money.
- He will build a huge wall. Because he is a builder, he will erect the highest wall ever built and make Mexico pay for it.
- He will keep Muslims out of the country. Because we do not know who the terrorists and non-terrorists are, he will keep all Muslims out.
- He will bring back jobs. Because he is a great businessman and negotiator, he will convince companies that left the United States for foreign countries to come back.
- He does not care about political correctness. Because he is not a politician, he will level with the American people by telling it like it is.
- He will rebuild the military. Because he is a strong leader, he will strengthen our military and defeat ISIS by taking away its oil fields.
- He will get rid of Obamacare. Because he wants all Americans to have healthcare, he will repeal Obamacare and replace it with something which he will tell us about after he is elected.
- He will deport all 11.5 million illegal immigrants. Because most illegal immigrants are criminals, he will round them up and send them home. They have no rights because they are illegal.
- He is against gun control. Because he is a staunch defender of the second amendment, he will not sign any law that will regulate or limit our Constitutional right. He knows guns are an intrinsic part of the American identiy.
While this article is tongue-in-cheek, every reason listed in this fake manifesto for supporting Trump is real!
Photo | businessinsider.com
*People unable to think for themselves. Followers. Lemmings. Those with no cognitive ablilities of their own.” – urbandictionary.com
Amazingly people parrot this stuff routinely. Smart people!
Hate! Hate! Hate! You’re trying too hard.
Your constant barrage of lame and sorry attacks against Trump blatantly give you away, and can only mean one thing: HE’S WINNING! That’s why you keep talking, crying and writing about him, isn’t it? Yeah I know, right?
Ever heard of the Mobius Continuum? Basically, it is a figure 8³³³, ad infinituum. Apropos for:
“In order to understand others we must try and hear what they are not saying and may never be able to say.” – Jon B.
And what you’re NOT saying, John, speaks volumes more loudly than anything that you actually ARE saying here. Fear! Fear! Fear! You’re losing. Calm down; we get it!
The most pathetic thing, however, is that the Hillarots are becoming more and more afraid; infinitely and impotently terrified so you are lashing out with violence, hatred, ad attacks, hate speech, rally disruption, etc., along with anything else you can throw and vomit out to try and stop him, but it simply isn’t working, is it? Nope! It only resurrects, brazens and empowers him…and you hate it! And yet hypocritically, you call Donald Trump violent or an encourager of violence? Yeah, right.
Even if he is, the Nazi demo’s out there are even more violent than he ever was. Black Lives Matter ring a bell for you? Both they along with most of the rally disrupting annuitants and militants out there claim to be from the left, so why aren’t you writing about them, hypocrite?
Have any of you bothered to even looked in the mirror lately? Your reports on him are constantly growing more and more negative, aggressive, and hateful, even as the Democratic party becomes more and more aggressive, negative, violent, desperate and inept; ever more fearful of having to actually face Trump in November, 2016, because you subconsciously know that Hitlery Clinton has doomed the Democratic party, would be a DISASTER for the nation as an impotent and servile POTUS, and that’s why so many hundreds of thousands of lifelong Democrats are fleecing, fleeing and abandoning ship, thus leaving her and the idiots who follow her, in droves to sink to the bottom of the political abyss since the great guy and awesome socialist, Mr. Bernie Sanders, does not appear to be winning the nomination. He was/is the last true hope for the demon-cratic party.
So you’re all deeply terrified and afraid. We get it! So you can can the cheesy hate speech and regurgitated, unconciliated, conceited, contrived hate-rhetoric.
But of course, you will keep writing about it too, but it’s only because that simply means that Trump is coming closer and closer to victory!
“Those who can, do. Those who can’t, criticize.” – Jon B.
Welcome to the 2016 democratic party-for-Hitlery!
You’re welcome.
Stephen, I would not call Trump supporters smart. I’ll agree some are educated. Remember, Trump wins with the highly educated and the poorly educated. And he just loves the later!
I want Trump to be the Republican nominee. Do you get that? But my brain tells me he does not want to be the nominee. I believe Trump is a smart man. No intelligent person could possibly think he will win a national election with all the stuff he says and does. Trump is the ultimate con man leading his sheeple. Do you seriously think he believes any of the things he says? Really? I pray he has blowout victories tomorrow. Please vote for your man, Jon. It’s a free country. But I will keep writing about Trump, satire or not, because there is a slim possibility a Trump supporter or two might see the light and awake from his or her stupor.
My reports on Trump are growing more and more negative? Everything I wrote about why the sheeple are supporting Trump is 100% accurate. At least everything I reported on has come out of Trump’s mouth or those of his supporters.
The most frightening thing about the above is that is what I am hearing from Drumpf supporters plus they think they will get free membership to his golf courses.
But many don’t have enough money to buy golf clubs!
On a serious note, I am starting to believe he is doing all this to sabotage his campaign. No sane person would be doing what Trump is doing if he really wanted to be president, let along his party’s nominee. Yes, I know, Trump may not be sane. Tomorrow will be a very interesting day. Trump could almost lock up the nomination or we could be looking at a contested convention.