It was only a matter of time. As some second-tier candidates are preparing to exit the Republican presidential contest, one well-known celebrity has just announced his entry into the race: Bozo the Clown.
Rience Priebus, Republican National Committee chairman, has confirmed Bozo is now an official candidate for the 2016 race. “All the proper papers have been filed with the FEC and Mr. Bozo meets all the constitutional requirements to run for president. We now look forward to see how he performs in the glaring spotlight of the center ring.”
The odds are high that Bozo will make it into the next debate scheduled for October 28, 2015. New polling just released by Quinnipiac University shows Bozo the Clown with 23% support, trailing only Donald Trump at 25%.
“I am so thrilled to have this opportunity,” said Bozo, “It has always be a dream of mine to run for public office.” When asked what could possibly make someone with zero political experience think he would be an effective politician, especially as president of the United States, Bozo answered, “ The three leading candidates for the Republican party have as much political experience as I have.” Bozo was referring to Donald Trump, Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina.
“It is obvious the Republican field has room for another clown,” said Bozo.” I keep hearing a clown has been at the top of the polls for nearly four months. And now, his numbers are slipping! Frankly, other than the hair, I don’t see much effort on his part in trying to appear clownish. This country is hungry, and ready, for a true, bona fide clown.”
When asked what his campaign slogan would be, Bozo replied, “A Rubber Chicken In Every Pot! My campaign advisers say it’s a winner.”
Asked if there is one main issue he would focus on, Bozo said, “Yes. Animal cruelty. I’ve seen trainers abuse lions and tigers and bears. Did I just say ‘lion and tigers and bears?’ Oh my! Hehe.”
The next Republican presidential debate should be a ratings bonanza for debate sponsor CNBC. Already the cable network is promoting the telecast as “The Battle Of The Clowns … Really.” Stephen Sondheim’s “Send In The Clowns” is expected to be played as the candidates enter the debate hall. This will be followed by Patsy Cline’s immortal, “Crazy.”
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