Much like Seinfeld’s George Costanza in the “shrinkage” episode, Donald Trump believes his manhood is being short-changed. If you recall, Jerry’s girlfriend, Rachel, literally caught George with his pants down after he swam in a cold pool. Of course, there was significant “shrinkage.”
George asks Jerry if women know about shrinkage because he’s afraid Rachel will tell his never-having-slept-with girlfriend, Jane, about his frightened turtle.
If Rachel “thinks that’s me she’s under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me,” laments George.
Of course Rachel shares her observation with Jane who suddenly tells George she must get back to the city and cut short the Hamptons weekend.
“I think that you think that a certain something is not all that it could be, when, in fact, it is all that it should be… and more,” says George.
“I’m sure it is,” responds Jane.
“Look, you don’t understand. There was shrinkage,” pleads George.
On national TV, during the last Republican presidential debate, Trump responded to Marco Rubio’s accusation that he has small hands … and you know what they say about men with small hands!
“Look at these hands,” said Trump, hands raised, “are they small hands? And he (Rubio) referred to my hands, if they’re small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee it.”
A group of Rubio supports are demanding that Trump back up his guarantee. They are calling upon RNC chairman, Reince Priebus, to measure Trump’s manhood “so that this whole controversy can be put behind us.”
The issue of penis size has become a hot topic lately with the revelation that Adolf Hitler had a micro-penis. While Trump’s rhetoric has been compared to that of the Fuhrer, he certainly does not want to be seen as Hitler-like in the endowment area.
Don’t be surprised if Trump, in the next few days, releases a medical report from his personal doctor, Harold N. Bornstein, attesting to the large size of his schlong.
Asked whether the RNC chairman will cooperate with the Rubio camp’s demand for verification, a spokesman for Reince Priebus said he would not be touching on this subject.
And so, as with all of his guarantees, we will just have to take Trump at his word.
Update – Following his assertion that he is well-endowed, a new movement has sprung up. This is Yuge! The movement, aptly named after a movement demanding proof of Obama’s US Citizenship, is called the “Girther” movement! People are demanding proof as to whether Trump measures up. A doctor’s note won’t do.
Photo | linkedin.com